hi guys. so as you may know, the releases of my projects have been every few weeks or even months though I say that I would do only like every 2 weeks or something. well, that never happened. instead, my projects have been separated from weeks to literal months. its obvious I'm still online and posting well, but not in the sense that I used to back then. in 2021, scratch was a very new platform to 9-year old me, and I loved it. it was during the time that covid and the pandemic and social-distancing was starting to die down and life was returning back to normal. 2021 was also where i've been most active. you can obviously see that I was posting 2 to 4 projects a day mainly cause of add yourself projects and the fact that Jack looked different almost every single time... and also because we were just on our screens more. it was a really fun time. then school hit. we were suddenly back to normal life, but did that stop me? HECK NO! as of 2022, I still shared projects like normally except for the fact it was now like, 4 projects per week, but who cares? it was really fun. I met a lot of people on this platform which were some of my closest friends, especially during the pandemic. now, you might've already seen them in my older projects or them just randomly showing up, so I of course have to introduce @colethecube and @Non-Existent-Person-. those people, although on longer hiatus's than me, were my only friends during COVID-19. they were awesome, and since I interrupted them in their own series, they accepted me and added me as part of their friend group. imagine if I didn't stumble into their studio! I wouldn't have met the most coolest people I've seen in 2021. I just wanted to say, thank you for letting me know you guys, and hopefully, you wont become dead. now. the offline issue. if I were to blame it on something, it would've just been my actual life. you don't know this, but I... I'm honestly a really emotional guy. not like the kind of person that goes like "AWWWWWWW" every time they see a cute thing or whatever, but as in I hide my emotions, bottling it up until it explodes. why am I telling you this? cause it heavily decreases my motivation to keep going on Scratch as a whole. school has been stressing me out or just straight up not giving me time to do anything on the platform. its a huge loss from back then, which is why I'm going to start talking about something everyone experiences on this platform: MOTIVATION. I mentioned it in this paragraph, so I'm going to talk about it. think of motivation as a goal, say... get your room cleaned up. obviously, you do not clean up your room since its your room. then your parent or guardian or whoever the heck is watching over you says they made cookies, and will only give it to you when your room is clean. NOW suddenly you feel the urge to clean your room as fast and as clean as possible so you can get your reward. THATS MOTIVATION!!! and as you can tell from me, I have no ounce of it whatsoever. its a shame, really. I get to be on this platform for a long time, literally 5 years, yet now, I do almost nothing, yet sit, wait for messages, start a new project, give up and forget it entirely, then sit and wait again. over and over, this cycle comes on, and sometimes just doesn't happen. believe it or not, I have (so far) 24 unshared projects! and what do they look like? either a white screen or an unfinished drawing. I lost my motivation within this platform because I know I will probably never become famous. I wont. that's just fact. I have literally been giving advice to my younger sibling (who you should go check out ) so he could be more successful than me. he has potential. my potential has been put in the grave and buried. ...I need to stop with the YouTuber vlogging attitude. guys. I'm not ok. geninuely, not ok. I struggle with schoolwork sometimes, and I often feel like I'm on the edge of my life waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen that could change or turn my life around for a single moment. yet nothing. nothing on Scratch. nothing in real life. its just the same cycle, over. and over. and over again. does that mean I'm just a lost cause? someone who feels like they've missed out on life? if you think that, you must have an absolutely sad life(and if you actually do, sorry, best regards) because I AM NOT ONE. I have real friends and real experiences that make me feel like I'm on the top of the world. what can you take from this rant/vent? I'm not online much or at all because right now, real life is more important than a digital life waiting for anything to happen. I am still fine and doing okay. but, hey, I AM starting to practice my voice so I could become a potential VA. ehhhhHHH!!! ...honestly, its just because of my ADHD. yes I actually have it. since my brain is so worked up, hyper, and cannot focus for the love of it, I forget. a lot actually. everything else I could say is... I'm ok. and I'm not leaving.
