Disclaimer: This is mostly a rant and very opinion based so you may not agree. Also I'm not depressed, or at least I don't think I am, I'm kinda just tired and stressed. Life has been tough, and I myself am getting close to adulthood, it just keeps getting tougher. Some problems I have are with motivation, school, my future. Motivation to do anything has slowly diminished over the years, and I have no idea why. My mind refuses to do anything with effort, even in the things I love doing like animation or coding. A good example being this very project! I was going to animate myself (Person on the project) To move slightly, but I just straight up to feel like it. My laziness has just been taking over my whole means of existing at this point, and I find it frustrating. Another thing is my motivation for my future. I have no motivation for that either and it's annoying too! I have no motivation to work for the future I want, because I have no idea what the hell I want to do! I have a few ideas, yeah, but I can't decide on what I truly want to pursue, I want to pursue all of them, but I'm not sure that's possible. and finally, school. School has been a pretty big problem ever since I was in elementary/primary school. Even when I had motivation to do stuff I liked back then, it was never put into school, and that meant my grades weren't always the best. Nowadays, I just have like no motivation to do school work, and when I actually do my work, I never finish it because I keep getting distracted with more work and I feel as if the unfinished work needs to be perfect in completion for me to turn it in but I never end up completing them! With a talk with my family, they think that maybe it's just the way I learn isn't the normal way, so they decided now, after 11 years of school of below average grades, NOW I should try something different, that being homeschooling. Honestly, I'm not that mad about this decision, I'm more nervous about how that experience is going to be, and maybe homeschooling might be better for me, who knows? Also I'm going to have to get a job now since in like a month of posting this my father said if I'm getting homeschooled, I'm getting a job since I can't just be doing nothing all day, which I see as a fair trade off. Notable mention, the world, ever since 2020, felt like it's kinda just gotten worse too, and people online have just gotten harsher and more toxic. I can't even go online with seeing some dumb drama or some absolutely HORRID thing a popular person/YouTuber/Game Dev did! Why is everyone so bad??? And WHY am I always seeing this stuff on my FYP? I actually don't really want to see this stuff! And yes, maybe this stuff happened before 2020, but it might have been less worse than it is now, but I might be wrong, but I'm not going to be doing research at the moment. Overall, mentally, I'm probably fine, physically too, I'm not gonna do anything stupid to myself nor is my family. It's just I'm nervous for the future and if I'm not good enough for it or prepared for it. Also I'm tired of the constant negativity in the world. If you read all of this (Or at least most of it I'm guessing), thanks. This after all was just a big ol' rant to get out my frustrations about my problems and how dumb the world has become. There's quite a bit more I'd maybe like to say, but it's hard enough to get my feelings and thoughts into words and text so I'm just going to leave it here. Honorable Mentions/People who have always been by my side especially during these dumb moments in life, I appreciate you! My Mother & Father My Siblings My Grandparents My whole family Zorif Ayda_ / SD777 / Potato God / Nediac / Leo / Wildflower / / Victor / All of my other friends
