Whoo hoo whoo hoo another Silver srp. I seriously need to do actual threads with him tho…. ——— “I don’t /despise/ you. Not anymore.” The constellations glimmered brightly above, yet they could not compare to the fullness of the moon. It was brilliant. More than brilliant. Silverseraphinite still stared at bitterly. He could no longer hate such light, yet he hated it for that reason. Complete contradiction. He couldn’t figure out why, but he found it far more lovely than the darkest nights when StarClan’s distant light was more visible. … -sigh- The icecat stood up from the spot he sat in the snow and shifted position. “Well, aren’t you going to say anything back? Give me a sign? A dream? Nothing?” the hybrid cat hissed to the night sky. … He backed down and folded his paws in. “You don’t have to say a thing. None of you do. I’ve strayed far from your commandments. I’ve been.. cowardly, bitter, and broken plenty of rules without turning a head. That is not what you want.” He paused again for a brief moment, wondering why he even bothered stopping if there would be no response. “What I mean to say is… I am sorry. I never truly despised you, even if it did feel that way. It’s just your life has been so much more fulfilled. And what have I accomplished than causing hatred,” he spoke. “Hate? Hate? Is that all I’m good for? I wish desperately to change from that. I don’t know why. Why I stay so upset at my clanmates, and for what? They are happier. I would never admit that to them.” … “O Stars, what does it mean to be perfect?” Silver said, the feeling of melancholy hovering above him. “I have sought for its meaning too long that I believe… I believe I have lost it. Perfection, that is.” He laughed bitterly, quietly, just to himself. “I used to believe I was not anything if not perfect. And I fear I am not perfect.” Water filled at the rim of his eyes. “I suppose that means I must be nothing then.” … “That is another thing I could never confess. If I tell myself over and over til the point my mind deliriously believes it, then maybe I could…” his voice trailed off before he could finish. … “Mother always said I was perfect. I thought she spoke the truth for she was the only one whose judgment I trusted. If she thinks I am perfect, does that make it true? Is it the ones around you that decide your worth? I still would nothing. My mother isn’t here, and unless you can tell me the way she imagines returning home to me every day, I will not be able to believe she will. Hope is a /very/ weak thing. I will not cling to the hope she will come home to me.” … “Celestialruby hates me. Says I’m imperfect. Is he right? Sunsetcourage has said the exact same. A little prince? That is what Wildfirelament had called me, but chirp only ever used it bitterly. But there are others.. possibly who could believe I am perfect.” Dark snowy clouds began to attempt blocking out the moonlight. It strayed over, scattering moonlight onto the ground. Silverseraphinite would only have so much longer to speak to StarClan. “Riverrunner. She seems… enamored with me. I wish I could say I love it back, but that would be a fallacy. He deserves someone perfect,” Sera smiled softly, but it quickly faded. “That someone is not me. I would rather be beaten by a dozen unicorns than dare shatter River’s heart.” … -sigh- “Your light is almost fully shrouded by the darkness now. With that I will again say, I am sorry. I hope you will forgive me. I /will/ turn towards the lights. No more talk of darkness.” … “With that at final I ask of you one more thing. Spare me one final reverie. I miss dreaming. And if you do not watch me from the sky above, that you were never a guardian, but what I may have been in life, then I will mourn that life eternally. It is too late for me to go that route, but at least let me dream. Dream of what love, what life, what perfection I have lost. I do not hate. I hate none of it. I just wish I could feel.” … “Farewell, O Stars.” ——— Yippi yay that was fun to write. Silver is finally getting new character development. Unfortunately it’s a long time til he’s gonna be fully changed. Recently I have been very empty of emotion and I thought, well why not make Silverseraphinite start feeling that too. It’s not a good thing for him, but it’s progress Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading even if it’s short
Tn by Gigi on YouTube. I like my blue aesthetic, but I think I might unblue soon
