We're Both Boys (Chapter 14)

Instructions

(FYI: This takes place the same day as Chapter 12, which is the day before Chapter 13. Sorry for the confusion!) Chapter 14 I wait awkwardly outside of Mr. Shel's room, waiting for Arch to walk out. When he doesn't I head inside. Ivy's already gone. Except for my teacher, the classroom is empty. "Hey Mr. Shel, do you know where Arch is?" Mr. Shel looks up. "He wasn't feeling good. I believe he went back to his dorm. Why are you asking? Did something happen between you two?" He's a lot brighter than he let's on. "Uh-maybe. I don't know. But, um, thanks." I hate talking to adults. And just people in general. It's probably social anxiety, but I have so many other issues, I haven't bothered looking into this one. Not to say that social anxiety is an issue. But I just- *sighs in gay* "Anytime Ace anytime." Mr. Shel says. I turn to leave. "Oh and Ace?" "Yeah?" "I'm actually colorblind. I had no idea that my construction paper looked like the pan flag. To me it looks like the bi flag." My brain is half astonished, half amused, and half not-even-surprised. Wait that's not how math works. Hold up- My brain is 1/3 astonished, 1/3 amused, and 1/3 not-even-surprised. I give him a small chuckle. Mr. Shel replies with the awkward bisexual thumbs-up. "Good luck." Definitely fruity, that one. *** I push open the door to our dorm. Arch is there, facing the wall. He's talking on the phone to someone. Shouting actually. "No, I don't have a girlfriend. I've told you a million times, I DON'T LIKE GIRLS!" I don't think I've seen Arch this angry since he beat Kenny up. I edge past him, not wanting to intrude, but he sees me. He holds up a finger, so I wait for him to hang up. "Goodbye!" Arch says, furiously clicking the 'end call' button. He turns to face me. "Um, I'm sorry." I say awkwardly. "No, no, it's okay." Arch says. "You gave me an excuse to hang up on my dad." His dad?? He was yelling at his dad?? "Uh." I mumble. Stupid. "My homophobic dad." Arch supplies, and scratches his arm nervously. "Every time he calls he asks if I have a girlfriend. And every time I remind him that I'm gay." Arch looks crumpled. Defeated. He rubs his eyes. "And every time I tell him that, he says...he says..." Arch sniffs. "H-he says people like him and I...Black people...we can't be gay. He tells me I'll be better off just p-pretending to be straight, because I already have to f-fight for my rights, an-and I shouldn't have to h-have to suffer anymore." Arch is crying harder now and I don't know what to do. This boy I've crushed on for a long time now, who likes me back, is crying because of something his dad said to him. I wrap Arch in a hug, and he breathes in shakily. "It's so stupid that the world is like this." I say. I feel Arch nodding in agreement. "It is." He sniffs. "It really is." Then he wipes his face, trying to stop the tears. "Boys don't cry." He mumbles to himself. I think of every time I cried myself to sleep after being bullied by Greg. Every time I curled up underneath a desk and just straight-up sobbed. Partially because of the bullying, partially because of this life. "This life is so overwhelming," I tell Arch, "and you know what? It's okay to cry." Arch looks up at me. "When the world is throwing every possible obstacle in your way, it's okay to sit down and cry, because how the heck are we supposed to live if we don't let our emotions win over every once in awhile?" Arch smiles, tears still streaming down his face. "So yes, boys do cry." "Thank you Ace." Arch says, hugging me tighter. "Anytime." I say weakly. And then, because I'm a failure, because I'm an idiot, I choose this moment to ask the question that's been on my mind since I met Arch. "Can I klss you?"