Psycho Mountain Goat Script: Starts with student doing homework while teacher walks on stage Student: “Man, I hate homework! It’s so hard, and boring, and just… Teacher: “You have a new assignment on multiplying fractions.” Student: “But I still have like ten other assignments that I haven’t finished!” Teacher: “Well too bad, hurry up!” Narrator: “Sick of your teacher giving you homework?” (pause) “Well then call the psycho mountain goat!” Student: “What’s that!?” Narrator: “The psycho mountain goat is a goat that will ram into anyone you don’t like, and leave them begging you for mercy! Just call out his name and he will come to the Rescue” Teacher:”Uhhhh, What Student: “Sweet! Psycho mountain goat!” Teacher: Hey what’s that sound (Psycho mountain goat screams from a distance and then starts running into the scene and knocks down the teacher) Teacher: AAAAAAAAH! OW! AGH! Student: “WOW!” Psycho mountain goat screams again, turns around, and rams into student who falls on teacher (Bully walks into the scene and starts making fun of student) Bully: “HAW HAW!” (Nelson laugh) “You got hit by a mountain gAAAH!” Psycho mountain goat rams into the bully and runs off stage. Bully falls on the student and teacher. Narrator and Side effects guy walk back on stage Narrator: “The product still has a few flaws, but… oh no… not again. Psycho mountain goat screams again, runs back on stage and knocks down Narrator. Side effects guy: “Steve, are you okay” Narrator: “ahg…” Side effects guy: “Um, he’l be okay” Jingle comes on the speakers and we all dance and sing along while psycho mountain goat chases Narrator and side effects guy. psy-cho mountain go-oat He is your best friend psy-cho mountain goat He’ll Lead your enemies to their ends Psycho mountain goat chases everybody off expect side effects guy. Side effects guy: “Anyway… side effects may include, loss of your first pancreas, loss of your second pancreas loss of your third pancreas…” Curtains slowly close and once finished, side effects guy peeks through them Side effects guy: “And finally, loss of your life.” Curtains slowly start opening Side effects guy grabs the corpse of the deceased student (luca) Side effects guy while dragging body: “you saw nothing” Narrator walks on stage with “Pointless Products Productions” sign Side effects guy (from back stage): Mmm, pancreases!
