so, i've been inactive or usually pretty much doing nothing scratch related because 1. i don't get many messages anymore and 2. because the true stargrinding has begun. i play gd because i always saw it wherever and whenever and found a cool roblox version to play for a while. i enjoyed it so much. stereo madness felt like it was impossible, and then it was done, i felt awesome, and the pathway to improved skill opened up. i went down that path, soon beating back on track and polargeist before soon getting a phone where i got the lite version. it only went to blast processing at the time, which was weird considering i started playing in 2.2. i beat more and more levels, having so much fun, until i got into the full version (it's actually pretty cheap tbh) and the potential quadrupled. i grinded more. i beat more levels. and after over a year of playing, it somehow transitioned to now. recently, it's been becoming a much larger portion of my life than i ever intended it to be, and the descent into madness begun. the game slowly began to be in most of my conversations or ideas (CASE IN POINT) and stargrinding slowly started to peek in. it has caused a lot of inactivity recently as scratch seemed no longer intresting. everything seemed to go downhill after i beat clutterfunk, where i was so 'good' at the game that the levels had to be extremely hard to combat that. i began to demongrind. the game wasn't fun anymore, and i grinded it anyway. i popped off a lot, but that's all the fun that came anymore. i grinded anyway. it slowly began to take up a good portion of the day consistenly I GRINDED ANYWAY. i felt like i was in purgatory of never quite being able to do some of the most hard things (hard things i could do) and went through the 5 stages of grief... 3 times. I GRINDED ANYWAY. deadlocked was almost done. i was almost free. it felt impossible. I. GRINDED. ANYWAY. it was done. clubstep was done soon after (i beat it today) and that's when i decided to post this. this isn't goodbye, this is just a note that my account will be in limbo for very long. the cube and spike madness has truly begun. it feels like everything now. it is very important to me now, somehow. thanks for reading my absurd descent into madness. sayonara guys.
