I used to call her mamaw J (my grandmother) :') she died when I was 7.. she used to take us to chick fil-a every day and we would be there and play for hours... Her house was amazing and we would hide in the basement that was almost big enough to be an entire house itself.. she was so kind and always cheerful but one day we were all on the couch watching a movie when she gets a call saying she has br3ast cancer.. my sister starting screaming and crying (she was 10) and my grandma was crying and I kept asking what was wrong (I didn't know what cancer was and they wouldn't tell me) so all I could do it cry scared and confused just hugging my sister. When my mom got a call from the hospital one day saying she had pulled her own plug and died my mom was crying and screaming a long with my brother but all I could do was keep a straight face, no emotions.. I didn't eat for days and I wouldn't speak for weeks, just staying in my room sleeping all day hoping to dream of her, and cleaning my room constantly, then finally a few weeks later while I was sitting on the floor organizing my horse toys she had bought me I finally held one and started crying and praying for the first time since the day I found out she had cancer. I came out of my room that day, and I hugged my mom.. I was just 7... but ever since that Iv been depressed.... I tried to off myself when I was 7 by running in front of a truck thinking I was going to be with her again.. but no something physically pulled me out of the way and to this day I don't know who or what it was....
