Last night I made a project talking about what I had in my mind, and I didn't expect it to be that much. And for my surprise, more things started happening today about that. So I'm just gonna write my thoughts. I had a really fun day today, until at around 1pm. I got a message, I can go back and leave my dream behind. Is kinda nice to have that option, but I gotta make the dessison quickly. The problem with this is that it's kinda hard to make the dessision. When I started this there was a person that helped me a lot with this, and put time, effort and money into making this real. I see them everyday, so if I tell 'em that I wanna take it all back, they'll be really mad at me. I already tried saying that I wanted to go back before, in a lowkey way, but they got really mad. So if it's actually happening, it'll be worse. In the other hand, it feels like there's a war between all my loved ones, such as friends, familly, partner... Every one is telling me they're opinion, which would be nice if it didn't felt like something bigger now. There's people telling me to stay, but they aren't that many. There's also people telling me to go back, and they are a lot, I dunno why. Two of the friends that know me best are telling me to go back, my partner also. Most of the people that is telling me to go back are people from my town, but there's also some from here telling me to go back. The same two friends that know me best are also telling me to don't listen to other people. Because this is my dession and they aren't gonna live my live. It's kinda funny how they're both telling me the exact same thing, even tho, one is from here and the other from my town. I've been also praying for this a lot, so I don't really know if I should take it back, back I gotta make the dessision quickly as possible, eitherwise the things back would be worse, and going back wouldn't be the same. Now, if I go back I gotta study the whole summer, to try to pass and test and be with my friends. It isn't a problem to me, I'm very good at learning things quickly. The problem only gets bigger when 1. If I don't pass I'd have wasted my summer and 2. I gotta study a WHOLE year of high school before September, when high school starts, I don't know if I should do the test before. Now, yesterday I started doing things here, like signing up for piano and break dance lessons. And looking for catechism. My teacher also gave me today the extra subjects that I can choose for the next year here, but I dunno if I should choose, cause I don't know if I'm gonna stay. She needs the subjects for tomorrow. I think that's all that I have in that theme of "drama" of my life, as my friends like to call it. There's more things also hard happening, but that's the biggest one, I reckon.
Thank you for stopping by. God bless.
