IMPORTANT

Instructions

I don't understand why people need lunch and thy say that i can get them lunch, but then they get mad. And why all of my friends just hate me for some reason, and will randomly ignore me, and make me feel like crap when they don't even care about me. I'm just done. I'm SO stressed out with high school next year, grades, gossip, martial arts, my dads surgery, my mom being really sick, a new bathroom and roof for our house, and now people are just making it worse. People tell me to kill myself (jokingly) but I take it seriously, I really do. Not to the state of actually killing myself, but feeling so bad I just start crying randomly aka yesterday, today in 2nd period, crying on the phone yesterday with one of my friends. I don't understand why people just dislike me. I mean, I'm trying to be really nice, but people take advantage of me, just because I have a ton of money on my school account, they think its okay to come up and ask for food whenever they want it. Like, I need lunch, and yet I'm spending all my money on other people. And I know I'm doing it willingly, I'm only doing it so the very few people who don't hate me, will still be my friends. And I'm so pissed right now. Not at anyone in particular, but just everything. People think its okay to just use me as a way to get free lunch and whatever else they want. I'm just done. I've been way too nice for way too long. And this doesn't mean I'm going to stop being nice, I just really need to say all of this, because I've been holding in all of my emotions for month, and I'm just tired of this. Some people say I should be section leader of the percussion section, instead of SilverBlitz, and I really wish I was too, I've worked so hard, I practice outside of school almost everyday, and I still don't get made section leader. So I'm kinda mad about that, but not at you @SilverBlitz, at myself for not trying enough. I just need to vent to the few friends that I have, but they're always like "no, thanks" or "im too busy" or "um no becuase i dont really care," and you know. Bullying hurts, and I HATE getting yelled at by people saying I'm not good enough, everytime I screw up something, or mess up a part in percussion. And I know everybody has something they're stressed about, or something that is wrong in their lives, and if you ever need to talk,you can talk to me.