please help

Instructions

I am running. My breath is shaky, panting. I don't know what I'm running from and I refuse to look back and see. The fog hangs low, cloaking the stars. The landscape is featureless. I can't see more than a couple feet in front of me. My legs are burning. I want to stop, but something unseen and stronger than me forces me on. The night air holds a chill that reaches my bones. I stumble. I fall. I cried out, sitting up in bed. Shaking. I blinked a few times in a vain attempt to orient myself. My head fell back onto the pillow, a breath leaving me. Another day, another nightmare. I've had regular nightmares for as long as I can remember, really. Some, I'd forget two minutes into the day. Others would stick with me through the day, interrupting my thoughts, haunting the backs of my eyelids. Eventually, I found the motivation to sit up properly, a groan of waking escaping me. My head hurt. I dragged myself up and grimaced when my feet met the floor. It got so cold in my room. My headache was making it impossible to be fully conscious, leaving black still on the corners of my vision. Like a zombie I made my way to the bathroom, stopping when I saw myself in the mirror. Pale as a sheet. But why? The nightmare wasn't that bad. Maybe I'm sick. I ignored the thought and got a drink of water, taking deep breaths. A knock sounded from further down the hall, at my door. I leaned out of the bathroom to see Nik waiting. His deep gray eyes stared at my door impatiently, the effect ruined by his three foot stature. "Right here." He turned in surprise and walked over, barely taking a breath before he started speaking. "Mama's been waiting on you to wake up for, like, hours now and Dad's already left and I fell on the stairs and now my knee hurts and-" "Nik. Breathe." He obeyed with a frown, cocking his head at me. "Why do you look so tired?" he demanded. "I just woke up." "That doesn't make sense. You've been sleeping." he whined. "People often wake up after sleeping, yes." I stifled a smile as his mouth worked for a moment before his voice. "You're not answering my question." His pout was made audible with his huff. Seeing as Nik's five, he's very easy to tease, and I am easily amused. I stepped past him into my room and sat on my bed, pulling on shoes. "What did you need?" "Mom's making me wait until you're awake to go outside." I figured it'd be something along the lines. Nik made friends with a neighbor's kid recently but is too shy to ask about playing with him. One of his favorite pastimes has become sitting outside and waiting. "Alright. Lead the way." I followed him into the kitchen, where Mom sat with her mug that was undoubtedly chamomile tea. She looked up when we walked in and sighed, but not unhappily. "You slept late." A black curl fell in front of her and nearly made it into her tea before she brushed it away. "I know, I'm sorry." "Would you mind taking Nik outside for a while?" "Not at all." I'd barely finished my sentence before Nik had a hold on my wrist and I was being dragged out the door. Mom gave no protest, just looked into the steam rising from the mug her hands encircled. With my free hand I closed the door, pulled into sharp sunlight that seemed to pierce my tired eyelids and go straight through to my headache. I could hear the faint sounds of birds, a note of peace. My eyes adjusted to find Nik sitting against the weeping willow we have in our front yard. I joined him in the shade. "Now we wait?" "Yup." He started tossing a small rock between his hands disinterestedly. "Why not just go and knock on the door?" His response was lost on the wind that came to rustle leaves and catkins off the big tree and blow Nik's russet bangs from his forehead. The branches came down like a tarp around us and the sound was almost like rushing water. I got that peculiar sense of desire again. The desire to know nature and it's thoughts, to listen and discover. To practice lumara. In the world of lumara, there are Kel and Kar, together Kelar. The same thing, really, but it was decided there would be a title for men, and a title for women, since there were differences in specialties. Since I was young I wanted to be a Kar, to do something with my mind, not my hands. My fantasies were quickly shot down when I begged to be tested at a mere six years old and the Cilkar found no dormant lumara, the base needed to begin studies and grow in power. It's impossible to multiply by 0. Despite that, the idea of being connected to the world through more than simply presence stayed rooted in my mind. Moments of peace tended to re-ignite the feeling.