"당신이 어디에 있든... 난 언제나 당신을 사랑할 거예요." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honestly, I feel really empty without my ex in my life... I've been thinking to myself, asking myself if he was doing well without me...I was always there for him even when he wasn't there for me....never used anything that he took time to tell me on him....never told secrets he told me...never rushed our relationship... I only was toxic when he was being too much...always cared for him...I promised him...I promised him that I would never stop loving him....my heart is telling me to not let go but my brain knows he's a bad person...but I don't want to let go....if I do I'll suffer more....I really need him....I know I've dated him 6 times.....I know its bad to be attached to someone that's not nice or someone that doesnt love me anymore.....Im obsessed.....I need to control myself...control my anger issues...control my ADHD.....control my depression.......why am I like this....Super cringy....always annoying....never stops talking....I'm that one friend who doesn't stand up for themselves....someone that doesn't matter to anyone even though they say I do matter....No I Dont....so stop telling me lies unless your gonna be truthful with the words you seem to mean...Ive been starting to become distant to everyone just they don't realize it.... Im weird and I was told that I was growing.....no I'm not....I'm stuck in this overthinking thought void........not showing anyone I'm hurt......not telling anyone I need the help I don't have...I don't understand why it had to be me....why do I have to be the one acting happy...when all people do is go behind my back and talk sh-.....always stealing the people I like....always stealing my bfs or ex's....don't you guys know thats breaking our girl code.....its sad...its not fine......Im Am Not F--ing fine!...........believe what you want to believe....say I'm fine and walk away....don't care Abt me anymore if its fake...say I'm stupid and stop faking...you don't need to fake anymore...clearly I saw right through you and you've noticed it....what is the point of me even being here....why am I here to witness this...why do I have to be apart of this when I don't want to....I don't want to live and that's the decision I've made unless someone changes it....its all my fault for ruining his life, my friends life, my families life......its best if I'm not here anymore.....and that's how I truly feel....and that's the truth...
...........I need a break man.......to get things out my head....I respect all of you Jst needs some more time to make sure I believe you..... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 나는 절대 아무도 믿지 않는다....난 왜 이럴까?....나는 나 자신이 싫다.
