full title: GLaDOS is NOT chell's mother AND I CAN PROVE IT this WHOLE PROJECT IS A HUGE PORTAL 1/2 SPOILER BLANK FILLER TO HIDE ANY POSSIBLE SPOILERS a lot of portal fans like to either take sides on "glados loves chell in a romantic way" or "caroline (glados) is chell's mother" (some pick both. if you pick both, never speak to me again) but i can RELIABLY say that glados is NOT chell's mother, or it's unlikely, without pulling the "i'm glados and i said so" card because that's ANNOYING. 1. TIME we know that caroline and cave johnson were in some sort of relationship (at least an assistant-researcher one) since at least 1950. they are both definitely adults, and we'll take an estimate that they are in their 1950's portraits, 30. this lines up pretty well with the assumed birthdate of cave johnson somewhere 1920s-ish and caroline is most likely his age. now let's look at chell. chell is definitely ~20. "but what about being in cryostasis to halt aging??" that only applies in portal 2. in portal 1, one of the first lines is "we hope your BRIEF detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one." could glados have lied? well theoretically, yes, but there's no explanation for glados to have lied- especially when in portal 2 she mentions that she's been in cryostasis for a long while. why would she suddenly decide not to lie about THIS? now let's see. for someone 20 years old, in a game that takes place (portal 1. all time related arguments are hard to hold in portal 2 because it could take place god knows when in the future) in ~2010, since half-life 1 takes place in the 2000s (this is canon, many theorize 2003) and hl2 is 20 years later (2020s, 2023 if it was 2003), portal 1 takes place around 2010. chell would be born in. the 1990s. let's put that together. caroline and cave- born sometime in the 1920s chell- born in the 90s caroline and cave would have been 70 YEARS OLD. if they were chell's parents. miscarriage in your 70s is NOT out of the question. birth defects resulting in fetal death or stillbirth is NOT out of the question. it's just highly unlikely for someone to give birth in their 70s. IVF is also not quite likely, as it was in its infancy during that age. also cave probably wouldn't want caroline being experimented on by someone other than him. so therefore, for chell to be caroline's daughter, caroline would have to give birth at 70 years old. (maybe older.) 2. ETHNICITY this one is short. chell is brazilian-japanese, or at least as we can see, not white. cave and caroline are neither. 3. CAROLINE'S HEALTH, MESOTHELIOMATIC AND OTHERWISE similar to her age, it's also not out of the question caroline was unable to give birth due to health issues. cave johnson states that "the spheres are made of asbestos" and also dies after inhaling moon rocks (??? they're just doing anything at aperture) clearly they have no real material safety procedures at aperture. caroline was without question exposed to these during her time at aperture- assuming her asbestos exposure started during ~1940 mesothelioma could manifest anywhere during 1960-2000 either way, mesothelioma can cause a miscarriage if the tumor compresses the fetus. and she DEFINITELY breathed in asbestos. she also probably breathed in like. a lot of other things. i mean it's aperture science come ON 4. BEHAVIOR cave johnson is quite the eccentric man. as he grew older this got even more apparent. i doubt caroline loved him, she seems a bit uncomfortable with him based on her formal tone and the way she speaks. we can also assume that she likely isn't married from her introduction- "sorry fellas, she's married. to science!" i.e she spends so much time working that she probably couldn't marry anyone. 1950s era married women were also expected to stay at home. she is not at home. 5. VERY THEORETICAL SPECULATION ABOUT SYMBOLISM i wonder sometimes if glados sees chell as a child she didn't get to have connecting to the miscarriage theory. when chell comes back from space (honorable mention to the post credits scene where the space core is orbiting wheatley because wheatley is just so dense) and we see her worried and expressing joy that chell is alive. at the end of co-op we also see glados caring for baby birds. she feels love, like everyone else, but because of her circumstances she is forced into hiding it. there is also a scene where right before chell picks up the (now apparently, revealed to be sentient) companion cube it fizzles away. chell and the companion cube are displayed together with chell often caring for and showing attachment to the cube as if it's her child, reluctantly giving it up in portal 1 (see glados's voicelines about euthanizing it). glados, after being freed from her cores, really does care about chell. 7. CONCLUSION mwah mwah i love chell Heh. thankys Bye
