transitioning | ch. 59

Instructions

emerson pov text below vv I blink and the next thing I know, I’m in a hospital waiting room. My knees are bandaged. Quinn’s next to me, book in hand. “Hey,” They say, looking up at me. “You okay? You spaced out or something for a while.” I look around, touching my face and legs and arms and trying to feel real again. “Where’s Mom?” I ask, panic creeping its way into my voice. Quinn squeezes my hand. “She’s okay– just fainted. They’re checking her vitals and stuff right now.” I exhale shakily, having anticipated the absolute worst. Mom’s okay. Of course she is. A doctor stops in front of me suddenly. “Ah, you’re Emilie Greene’s daughter, right?” He asks. I nod, trying not to smile like crazy at not being misgendered. “Your mom is awake and asking for you– do you want to come see her?” My heart leaps and my eyes widen. “O-okay.” “You can come with me,” the doctor says with a small smile– a strangely familiar one, at that… I can’t put my finger on it… He leads me to a room down the hall where Mom’s laying down inside. Her face lightens up when she sees me. “Emerson!” I rush over to hug her, squeezing her tightly. She hugs me just as hard, and I sink into her warmth. “Mom, what happened?” I ask when we break apart. She looks hesitant, eyes refusing to meet mine. “The doctors said I passed out from exhaustion… nothing too serious…” She says. She lifts up her left arm, which is in some sort of brace. “And I sprained my wrist on the way down..” I look at her with pleading eyes. “Mommm…. Do you really have to work so much..?” I nearly whine, feeling emotional as I hold tight to her sleeve. Mom sighs. “Can I talk to you about something?” Her tone is scarily dark. I swallow nervously, nodding. She takes a deep breath. “Please just listen to me, okay?” Mom tells me, squeezing my hand. Fear lodges its way into my chest and throat. Bad news is coming. I can feel it. I’m scared. “I…. There’s no good way to say this… I can’t afford the bills– or the house. That’s why I’ve been working so much– why I passed out on the kitchen floor this morning. I’ve been trying so hard to make sure you wouldn’t find out, so you could just be /happy/ after everything you’ve been dealing with lately… But I guess I couldn’t do that, could I?” I stare at the floor in disbelief. That’s why she’s been at work all the time? We can’t afford the house? What’s going to happen to us, then? Will Mom always have to be constantly working like this?? And what about the hospital bills, now? Are we going to be okay? Are we– “Emerson, baby?” Mom calls gently. “Please say something. You’re scaring me…” I look up at her, fear in my eyes. “What’s gonna happen..?” I ask anxiously. Mom’s gaze softens. “Well… Stacie offered to move us in with her and Quinn… Just until further notice. Or maybe it will be more long-term. We don’t know for sure yet.” I swallow. I love Quinn, and Stacie’s nice, but that would be a /big/ change. I’ve lived in this house, just me and Mom, for as long as I can remember… This can’t be happening. I don’t want things to change. I just want things to be normal. I want them to be that way forever. I mean– I /just/ got back to being friends with Tristan– now this?? Can things just /please/ slow down so I can have time to adjust?” She tells me. I nod weakly, forcing myself to give her a little smile. “W-when would we move?” I ask, trying not to pick at the bandaids on my knees. Mom hums. “Probably by the end of the month. Stacie did also say that she’d been planning to move over the summer before Quinn starts high school, so we might have to come with, then, too,” She says, combing her fingers through my hair. “I know it’s a lot, but it could be good for you,” Mom adds when she sees my horrified expression. “How?” I ask honestly. “Think about it this way– a new town would mean a new school– and that means nobody knows who you are.” I frown. “I’m failing to see how that could possibly be a good thing…” I mumble. Mom continues, “That means you can introduce yourself to new people as Emerson..” My eyes widen. Oh. She’s right. Incredibly right. Right now, pretty much everyone still knows me as Jace– and I couldn’t even dream of coming out to a bunch of random people at school to correct that. Like Mom said, if I went to a new school, that wouldn’t be an issue. People would only know me for who I am. But my excitement fades as quickly as it arrives when I consider the situation in its entirety. I wouldn’t be starting high school with Tristan. In fact, Tristan and I can only communicate through being at school together since he’s always grounded. Would it be worth it…? Being known as who I am, or having my best friend? But I guess it’s not like I get much of a say in the matter, anyway.