After my last update things have been getting a bit worse. Before I get into this if you're ever in a triangle don't be a jerk and don't try and compete its wrong. Basically I was friends with this one guy and I tried to make sure he was over a girl reacting to signs he was giving and his life updates in general and I meant no harm to him in anyway when I started pursuing the girl he used to be with. The guy never mentioned what caused the situation all he said was he liked someone new. Me and the girl he used to like hung out a lot and called a bit but then hes back in the picture and I'm a horrible person for trying to not hurt his feelings. Before all this he was messing with me and with me being me I thought it was a joke and he meant nothing severe because I joke a lot and its just how I show I care about people with playful insults and i like insults back because nobody takes them the wrong way. Anyway his girl reaches out to him and wants to make things better and days after this happens he texts me on dc saying he replaced me and then has the audacity to ask if I'm feeling okay. Now recently he starts with the same sort of stuff just more publicly and to my face. I cant tell the girl I like because these petty jabs are pointed to the girl I like and anything I say would reveal I like her. He tries to act like we're on good terms in front of her but is a jerk to me behind the scenes playing with her feelings. At this point I dont want to compete because I already know for myself the things i'm doing right, what im improving on, and what I want to improve on. I'm not going to compete with someone who has a past and doesn't want to change I can only pray he changes and treats my friend group with some level of respect. Its just sickening to me that somebody was socially aware and wanted to make sure you were okay and your response to it is harassing them and manipulating a situation for your own selfish goals. Thats not how you treat someone. I'm at an awkward standstill with this because I cant tell her and I desperately want summer to start even though I'm scared of being alone and trapped in the house. A nightmare somehow feels comforting...
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