[these are just my thoughts. not backed by any research, just what I've observed] yippiee yippieieie analysis yahoo ok so. this is a critique of specifically the public schooling system, I'm not private schooled, never have been, I cant speak on that front. I know there are many flaws in public schooling, but I'm going to focus on educational flaws The main point I wanted to mention was its rigid curriculum. the public school system does not cater to kids with different ways of learning, they try, but it doesn't always work because educators aren't educated on the struggles of different groups of kids, despite the required degrees to teach. for example: I am gifted, I know I am, humble too /jkjk ok but seriously. I'm gifted, been in the program since 2nd grade or the past 4 years. my dad and his dad were and are very smart and I take a lot after him. the issue here is that everything in the normal curriculum (even the honors classes) is easy for me. I don't take notes, I hardly pay attention, I study minimally and I'm able to get "above average" grades and stay on par with the rest of my classmates who are working twice as hard. sounds nice, right? no, it really isn't. see, I moved over the summer, my mom and I didn't know about the gifted program during the time period you could be tested for it so I can only hope to be put in it by 8th grade. maybe 7th if I'm lucky. but anyway, I would always struggle in the gifted classes, this year has taught me why. because the gifted classes were on my level, but I was used to not having to study, not having to take notes, to finishing early. those are the kinds of issues "gifted" kids would face in college. you cant half-ass it there (scratch please don't behead me). and I've been in the gifted program for as long as possible, and I still have these habits. and I don't know if there actually is a way to prevent that in the system, I don't even know if its a structural flaw. everybody else kept up, well, except for my friend. she was very smart but she struggled just as much. then there's my other friend. shes got potential, shes capable of critical thinking and shes kind. but the way the curriculum is taught makes it difficult for her to excel in school, especially with the added addition of her mental health. she (and me) are baad procrastinators, we both have a bad work ethic, etc. and school doesn't really.. help? with that? it becomes a standard, you don't want to be smart in school, you want to be average. it makes everything easier and that's very clearly not good. aside from how the system is built to prosper one group and one group only, there's also the environment. the social exclusion, the misunderstanding. if you don't fall into said group, it becomes 10x harder to make friends and "find your people". I cant make myself open to people out of fear of judgement. I have like 5 friends because they're all people I trust, I cant trust the rest, my own values and thoughts and humor and personality seem to be scrutinized. I feel deeply, I think deeply, I read into things. other kids don't. and I'm given looks for it. so I stay quiet. and that sucks. but back to my other friend. shes not dumb. but the curriculum is so rigid, so unchanging. ever notice something? all the students of the year. girls. the honors girls. that's who the school system is tailored to. trust me when I say this: boys get antsy sitting around in class, I get bored sitting around in class, my friend doesn't pay attention because what shes learning isn't interesting to her. and we don't even know if its possible to cater to every child's individual learning needs. there's not enough financial capacity and governmental support to do something like that. you'd need an endless amount of teachers, I don't know if we have enough people in the world willing to work with kids who are also stable and safe and reliable. the reality is that the learning needs of every child is so particular, youd have to rework the entire system to reach such a goal. organized education isnt new. however doing it in a civil manner is. teachers were allowed to beat kids before what. late 1900's or early 2000's? so yeah, I think we've absolutely made progress. there's still ways to go, but its a sign of improvement. human's are constantly changing, so we're not completely hopeless. some problems are ones we cant fix. people are judgy, that's life, you're different, you will be treated differently. however progression starts by identifying the problem. and we do and we have and we will.
[rant] ok ykw sucks. why do I feel like I have to apologize for being myself every day. I feel like I'm too clingy, too emotional, too much almost. and that's. terrible?? that's just from school. nobody wants to engage in mysteries, nobody wants to do stupid nonsense roleplays as a joke. (ps blue this is not directed at that one time you and uh [person in our gc] were busy sorryyy about that I didn't know y'all were doin stuff) is this common? is this how others feel? please I need to know if other people feel like they cant do things they want to with friends. look either my interests are too niche or this is a common experience where you want to do something, but you know your friends don't. so there are ideas and stuff that you think would be really fun but you don't do them because your friends don't wanna. for example: I like to think about how certain people would react in certain situations I like solving mysteries, I like team games, I like strategy I like being extremely imaginative and creative with possibilities, be it coming with THE most bizarre and out of pocket story or giving a simple play character a backstory and trauma and all of a sudden she doesn't seem like such a bad person but SHES A MURDERER??? or creating an entire religion called "jeaurayas schritsism" whatever that means or doing dumb social experiments or planning an entire survey to talk to a single person (who btw is very pretty and sweet and expressive and a brilliant actor you go girl) I think I just have strange niche interests. i need to know who thinks being "different" is fun or quirky. it really isn't. at this point I wonder if I have a mental disorder sometimes I don't, of course, I know that but.. ug not fun guys not fun at all sighzzz
