I was never ever good at sharing emotions with anyone. Whenever I would try it would come out jumbled, in tears, it's just always been hard for me. I've never told anyone about what happened, never let myself actually like, be seen. I've always put up this whole thing for people because having them worry and ask always felt wrong, like I was a burden to them. Feelings have always been so ugly and unimportant, I've always just felt like helping other people before myself was the way to seem like I was providing. Then, for some reason. I met you. It was just some simple online meet, nothing crazy y'know. I wanted to draw a character of yours, and I did. I don't remember exactly why we stuck around after that, but I remember just being so excited to get on and see if you left any drawings on our whiteboard. We worked and made these characters together, worked together to make them work in these stories together, made them so much lore. I find it funny how our first characters together were in love. Almost all our characters together are in love actually if you think about it. Funny foreshadowing I suppose. We've known each other for what, like.. almost 2 years now! Our stories together have grown so much with us and honestly, this has been amazing. We've been together for 3 months now. 3 whole months. Just me and you. It feels like it's been forever but, holy moly. You are my comfort person, my safe space, my home. You've crawled your way inside of all my defenses and honestly I'm scared, but well, I've told you everything. you know who I am, all my interests, all my past experiences, all my hopes and dreams, wishes, how I planned my life. You know it all, and it's just you. I've put all this trust into you, you! You're this one person out of billions and you OUT OF ALL OF THEM snuck through and happen to be the love of my life. You became the future, the hopes and dreams, all my wishes, all my plans changed to being us. You're the one I feel most comfortable with, the one I tell everything, the one I go to as soon as I have news to talk about. The first one who sees everything I make, you're the first I go to show something I've posted. Because you're MY first. I hope I am your first as well. I want to be there to rush just to be first to view anything you make, first to say something about how amazing your hard work is, to yap about how much I adore it, just like how I adore you. You help me work on myself, make me have motivation to work harder so I can give myself a better life. You make me feel safe and cared for and seen and you mean the world to me. Everything reminds me of you, I find SOMEWAY to make anything about you. I'm always looking for something to give you, something to show you, something to remind me of you. It's just you!!! All you!! and I want it to stay this way, forever and ever and ever and ever. Currently as I am writing this I have a pin board with 549 (which has changed... I think its like... 668 now) pins DEDICATED JUST TO YOU. IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM. I think we might like each other a little too much, but that's okay. Also your eyes are really pretty, like scarily pretty, they're so bright blue like minecraft blue ice and your so cute and you always look really cute in your glasses and you look so huggable. But like, Hello>??? who invited you into my brain. I sure didn't. YOU BURGLAR YOU FREELOADER, YOU SNUCK INSIDE AND NOW ARE LIVING IN THERE WITHOUT PAYING RENT... grrrrr.... But yeah, I'm really happy. You make me really happy. Like, it feels like you've saved me sometimes, as corny as that is. You did, you really did. I yearn for you. I love you. HAPPY THREE MONTHS SEBASITAN...
Every month this damn paragraph just gets longer. THIS TOOK LIKE, 3 DAYS TO FINISH, 6 IF YOU COUNT THE DRAWING. SO, YOU BETTER like.. I dunno,, buy me a chocolate cake.. I POURED MY HEART OUT TO YOU. YOU AER LITTERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME PAST THIS POINT LIKE, we're married