mid thumbnail art that's a little teardrop that my persona draws on her cheek i may keep it or i may get rid of it idk yet anyway despite my brain fog as of late, i've been thinking a lot about, well, trans stuff. (no big surprise there.) ever since i was two or three years old and had a halfway concrete idea of gender (and its reciprocal), i wanted to be a girl. there's been a couple of... complications along the way (hi mom i love you), but in the end i'm still dead set on just growing up and living the life of a woman. that's been the only thing i've ever really wanted for myself, besides being understood and left alone; no money, no fame, etc. no none of that. thankfully for me, it's a lot more easy to get hrt in my state than it is if i were living someplace more conservative; i've lived in two predominantly conservative states in the past. it's not the best, i will say that, so i'm grateful for my current situation. the only real issue being posed is both sides of my family (specifically, my mother) standing on my way. i guess i can wait a little longer without going completely crazy though, but i'll have to have money saved up for hrt which i kind of do but not really lol i'm trying to be myself more, too; trying to figure out what i would have been like had i been freely able to conform to my own gender from the day i decided i was a girl. i unfortunately do not have a good idea of what that is, but it's mostly because my recent lack of enthusiasm for things, and any good moods being almost entirely suppressed whenever i am not around someone i like. i'm also trying to figure out what my persona might wear (which in turn i might end up wearing in reality). i already have a good idea of the shoes... same thing you always see my persona wearing, and then also some platform chuck taylors from time to time, i don't know. specifically i don't have an idea of the aesthetic. i love oversized, off the shoulder shirts (never worn one irl, though), and also like, cute stuff. and occasionally i fawn over the idea of wearing dresses and skirts. there's some other stuff, but i don't like yapping. oh yeah, and tights. idk why but i feel like if i were able to better express myself, i'd still be super shy like i am now, but i would be either super into singing or a theater kid lmao that's really all i have to say, though i lost the other thing. still figuring out the hair as well, but for now i'm working with the one my persona has. thoughts and opinions are always welcome. take care :3 another project will be shared today but i'm just uploading crappy drawings and a space dog rant (again) lol
