Hello Everyone, it's Raven. I know some of you must've noticed that it's been a while since a new chapter of Can I Make It Any More Obvious has come out. For that I sincerely apologize. I've been stressed with school and other things going on irl, I'll probably explain some of the things that are stressing me out at a later time but I can't just leave you guys with nothing. I've been exhausted with school work and maintaining friendships, as well as frustrating drama going on, all of this irl. It makes it hard to write anything and that's probably annoying for all of you to hear. I hope you understand I'm not quiting on scratch or my fanfiction, I'm just trying to tell you why I haven't been posting much or at all. I'm online daily and I'll usually reply to comments but I just don't have time to work on my fanfiction. It's getting close to the end of the year at my school so that means I have exams to study for, tests, and huge projects that need finishing. I also need to focus on my family and friends. There's more information in the notes and credits if you'd like to hear more. (Update: Chapter 13 is out now! + I appreciate the love I've received <33)
*I used fake names for everyone mentioned in this out of respect for their privacy, if their name matches a person you know it is out of pure coincidence* Recently I had a huge fight with a supposed "friend" of mine, we'll call him Sam. We hadn't been working well and I constantly tried to tell him that. It got to a point where I wanted to create some distance between us. I sent Sam an email because I knew the words wouldn't come out right if I said them in person. Turns out he didn't like them in an email either. Sam was passive aggressive, argued with me, and said things that cut deeper that I would like to admit. After that he started spreading rumors about me and made people I thought were my friends turn their backs on me. Sam made me look like a bad person for not wanting to be friends with him, even after I tried to explain that it was just because we weren't working well together and our friendship was just him talking bad about people to me all the time. He even tried to get me in trouble with one of my teachers, leading to me not getting a position in something I had spent countless days working towards, even after I explained to my teacher that he was wrong there was nothing my teacher could do to change the results of me not getting in. At lunch that day I walked to the bathroom trying not to cry, I was frustrated and upset. I ended up crying anyways. I cried just before lunch so I had to try to quickly pull myself together before I missed lunch. I went down to the lunch room looking a bit better but my friend noticed instantly. I broke down because I just couldn't hold back my emotions. I explained I was upset about the results of the thing I didn't get into. I never mentioned Sam. The next day my friend, Lora, sends me screenshots of a group chat she's in. It's a group chat with Lora, Sam, and two sort of friends Alice & Megan. Megan said that I was crying at lunch that day (Which was true) she said that I was crying over Sam. That wasn't true. She said I cried to much and that I was an attention seeker. The truth is I've only ever cried twice at school. The first time was after school and was because I was being bullied. The second time was the time at lunch. Twice. The entire year. And Megan called me an attention seeker that cries too much. I try very hard not to cry because I don't like people worrying about me. For Megan to also say I cry for attention was the worst feeling in the world. Sam goes onto agree with Megan and say cruel and untrue things about me in the group chat. I cried when I got home that day. No one else was home and I just told my parents I read a really sad book and it made me emotional. The next day at school I had lunch in a teacher named Mr. Lewis' room. For context, Mr. Lewis is a history teacher at my school, I was never actually in his class but I visited him a lot. He lets students have lunch in his classroom if they want to. I come there every other day with some of my friends and I have lunch in there. Now back to that day. I had sat down with my friends and we were just talking like usual when Sam walked in. I'm not kidding when I tell you it felt like my heart sunk down to my stomach. He just grinned like nothing was happening. He never goes to Mr. Lewis' room for lunch and he knows full well that I have lunch in his classroom every other day. I didn't feel hungry anymore I just felt sick, like I was going to throw up. I couldn't even say anything to my friends, I didn't feel like I could talk. I just packed up my lunch, grabbed my bag, and went to the bathroom. I sat in there for the rest of lunch. Just sitting there. I couldn't do anything else. I don't know why Sam came to that lunch. It could've been to upset me. It could've been to just have lunch with Mr. Lewis. It could've been to see his friends. Though my friend, who's sort of friends with Sam was at lunch with him the next day. He said he had only gone to Mr. Lewis' room to annoy me. That made me feel worse. I wasn't even annoyed just sick to my stomach. That's the only way I can describe in. Like I was sick. Like I wanted to throw up.
