i hate my life honestly
bro my dad is so freaking narcissistic and he isn't even getting help for it and he is ruining my life to just get to my mom to make her mad/sad. It's actually terribly annoying. And my mom isn't helping either. She is just asking me stupid questions which i can't comprehend in my dumb brain. I get that she is trying to help, but i'm genuinely exhausted. I feel so tired every day but i don't know how to express it. I hate trying to look like i'm happy the entire day and express other emotions at the perfect time of the day. And then my school life pretty tiring. I feel left out every single day, and i'm always that friend where people tease me without hearing my feelings out. The teasing is sometimes funny, sure, but it goes to far. I can't even ask to do something or play without the feeling of someones rejection on my face while everyone is having so much fun. i feel like crying and screaming all the time. I just want to feel loved. I don't want to be a toy. My mom always tells me to think about "home" if i feel left out. But my home is barely even there. My dad is taking my happiness, and ur not helping. I'm sorry if i'm ungrateful. I'm sorry if i'm useless. I'm sorry about my existence. And i can't even do good in math and draw good (my "greatest" strengths. My adhd is getting made fun at by my mom, and i don't care if she is "trying to help," it isn't helping. I try to make everyone happy and comforting around me, but i can't even be happy about myself. I feel like i'm fat, i eat too much, but i can't stop. No matter if everyone tells me im skinny and good weight. I feel like i look so ugly, no matter if my mom always calls me "her prettiest baby." I feel so disgusted with myself and my actions. I feel worthless. I'm honestly going to try doing a sayori or a shouko during summer before school starts again because i'm so done with my life, grades, family, and just trying to be perfect but failing in everything,
