trigger warning: - caps - vent/rant - self doubt - mention of arguing, anger, and violence - really deep question okie guess what child (not real name) reported me and totally over exaggerated with words like 'physical assault' and etc FOR A KICK I COULDN'T EVEN FEEL THROUGH MY SHOE THAT I PROBABLY MISSED and now i'm like 90% sure i'm getting suspended for at least a week and i don't get it my mom is being supportive and my dad isn't really. they're fighting about how they feel and i just feel like a disappointment and i feel like i could tear out the child's throat and i pet my dog extra when i got home because apparently the child is gonna make both our lives a living hell and i'm honestly scared to take any sort of revenge or even just tell her because honestly i think she'll twist it and make it support her also did you know our school has cameras? and did you know that our principal has very clear favorites? to the point where she listened to child for 30 min straight before calling me in 10 min before school ended and not even letting me talk just saying 'i have to suspend you' and interrupting me 5 times before telling me child's side of the story and then leaving for a meeting and not even listening to me and i have a question for all of yalls ... am i a bad person? like i'm aggressive and explosive and sometimes stupid, i hurt people and i lie and when i don't lie i tell too much truth i don't have a filter and when i do what i want it seems like the people around me don't support me except for you guys and i feel like most of the kids in our grade hate me or think i'm obnoxious i'm also loud and violent and i have really strong opinions and i spend so much time supporting people and making them feel better and i believe in them and myself then i complain later that i've spent so much time supporting people and i yell and i swear and i feel like sometimes i just don't think and sometimes i lose control and i have little to no impulse control and little to no conscience to the point where papaya has to sub in my friends irl would know and i guess i'm a 'danger to the school' to the point where the principal doesn't feel confident in the school's safety when i'm around because i've kicked TWO people who just happen to be dramatic and hyperbolising the stories to make them seem like the victim while i suffer because of my agressive nature? so i guess that's how it works love ya and see you tomorrow on basically any account except this one bye see you soon hopefully. (*for the irl friends*)
