vent space +1 vent

Instructions

00.1 -- insecurities " i almost feel as if i'm not good enough, often looking at others being so proud of their bodies and heights and waist. then theres me , i'm ugly and i'm 'chubby' and i jst don't know how to feel .. i can't find a non toxic rs that hasn't ended .. my stomach hurts from forcing myself to suck in to appear skinny , and its jst too much - what if i jst leave skw and i don't come back ? or i can move states or cities .. but thats it rlly " 05.14.26 00.2 -- lovesick " i know that i'm not inluv with many ppl , and idk why i feel like that sometimes .. you'll catch me ranting abt them and the next day i don rlly feel anything anymore ? i kinda use scr to pour out any unwanted feelings (aka my rant and vent space) . i think it might be bc im hypersexual , bc i tend to find myslf liking on ppl whom i don't like , are best friends with , and even jst ppl i've jst met.. :( . i jst don't know what to say anymore , i cant tell if its true feelings or not and whats not helping is bc my ex is trying to win me back and its jst too much... " 05.15.26 00.3 -- family " i dont know why he does this - hes so annoying and honestly with his attitude i'd leave him too. in case you werent already informed , the seniors whom many are my friends are leaving this year , not only that - i had to humiliate myself by pretending to be a cat on all fours and whatnot... so you jst have to ruin my whole day by yelling at me because i was LITERALLY STUCK IN THE SCHOOL !? so i have to deal with you yelling , being called a furry and getting weird looks , but mmy friends are leaving ? and then you tell me not to cry .. ? then you ask why i dont tell you anything , i want you to guess why - take a good gander at it .. weren't u the one who ch34ted on my mom with sm other girl ? my mom isnt that great either but atleast i can tell her stuff and she'll listen and not interupt me . apologys don't fix everything i promise you , they don't bc i will purposely remember and when your in the same situation and you want me to take your side YET AGAIN , i'll say 'remember the time you xyz, or when you abc' and I'll go on till theres nothing else , if that isn't enough proof on how much you've hurt me , idk what else is . " 05.15.26 00.4 -- "..." " I try to comfort u abt ur loss, I ask if ur ok, and what do you do w? you tell me your seeking my support!? i couldve been nicer about how i handled you being OVERLY arrogant and joking to cope to make urself feel better... but when you said that you were seeking comfort from me? and yet when I TRIED you brushed me off and said you were fine and all that stuff... so when i FINALLY cheer up in a nice and clean way ur mad? yk i couldve and shouldve done smth else far worse... and maybe its my fault- maybe im just grieving wrong for a cat btw... but omg you saying "chicken tenders" when im asking if you want a hug or if you need me to do anything... im trying to help u RIGHT THERE- LITERALLY- OH MY GOSH-... then you tell me you trust me? what trust is there when im worried sick everyday if YOUR ok? and when your not ok, you say "im fine", when you are, you say "im fine".. you see how confusing it gets, and then when i find out ur not ok im jst supposed to brush it off.. and ive tried, but you SURPRISINGLY CRAVE ME asking if ur ok, jst to not tell me? mind u, when i brush things off after i find out from sm1 else, he gets extra clingy.. and yes ofc it bothers me that i find out from sm1 else that ur not ok- but the fact when im silent or trying to talk 2 u and somehow im not ok anymore? what am i supposed to do, turn into a dog? but then i think im the problem, like am i??) like anyways... sm1 talk to him.. or give me advice.. " 07.02.26