i've been struggling a lot with both home and school life, and things have just intensified recently. this isn't a vent, so i'm not going into details, but here's a summary: four friends. turns to seven. number eight adds another. number four moves to 5-7's group. success. number 3 drifts between groups. success. number eight forces into others lives. success. one and two are left. failed. four goes too far. a simple touch when one's in a rough mood. one snaps, letting the tension build so high and this is how it releases. yells. a mumbled, oh-so-fake "sorry". one and two are once more left stranded. i'm not proud of how i acted. but i can't handle it, and everything's so hard. four doesn't know. four thinks sarcasm is EASY to understand. four thinks jokes are EASY to understand. four is all too typical. three and i were talking about who's more stressed. three: six musical songs and lines. i: ten songs, every single bass note and some lyrics as well. three: well, i have six solos. i: i have five. three: i'm more stressed. okay. you're more stressed when i'm the one who shows up tired and aching from self-inflicted pain? what kind of joke is this? you get to have friends no matter where you are, and now i'm a stranger to former acquaintances. you get to climb the popularity ladder and it literally just crumbled when i touched it. oh this is a vent now, isn't it? anyways, i'm struggling to be motivated. various art projects may be completed, but please don't expect anything further. what if someone spoke? will be posted sporadically when i feel enough like myself and less like an alien. love and sparkles, cactusshade
