I wish I could be better. I wish I could be a better friend. I wish I could do more for my friends. Technically, I can. But when I try, it never seems to be enough. Both irl and here. I wish I could be a better person. I wish I didn't have to worry with school. Because, even though I'm the best student in the class, and maybe even the whole year, I have to worry about everything, all the time. I wish there was always someone available to have a long, random conversation with me. I wish there was someone who would never get tired of me and my dramas. I wish I were a normal girl like other teenage girls my age. You know, hanging out with friends, having lots of conversations, studying together, spending classes trying to talk to them without the teacher noticing. But they don't really want to. I think they'll love tenth grade. I think they'll love being rid of me. Okay, love is a strong word. The strangest thing about this is that I'm complaining even when everything is fine and they aren't giving me any problems. I think this site is bad for me because it forces me to talk to people who I wish they were my best friends irl, instead of the ones I have now. I wish I could have a normal family. I wish my parents had never separated. On second thought, I wish my parents had never gotten back together. I wish my cat had never d¡ed. Caramelo. I still think it was his de@th that caused all of this. I wish my house wasn't such a mess. I wish I didn't have to put up with other people's bad moods. I wish I didn't have to cry at night because someone yelled at me for trying to help. They didn't even let me explain... I wish people didn't ignore me. There are MANY other things I want to say, but even you must be tired of me by now. I wish it wasn't so boring. And weird. I wish I wasn't always complaining about the same things. Just one more thing. Throughout this description, I've wished for many things. I want all of this, believe me, and more. But of all of them, there's one I haven't yet mentioned, and I've been trying to get it for weeks. WEEKS. And when they give it to me, it's not... real. It's not felt. Right now, this is the thing I want most. I wish I had a good, real, full of love and warm... Hug. I just want a hug.
