(TW: Implied child neglect and manipulation) “Are you my mama?” It was one of the first things he ever truly asked, even if no longer remembered asking. From the earliest of his memories, even if he no longer had them. “No.” A voice answered in return. He no longer remembered that monotone, robotic cadence. No longer remembered her white pelt, their purple faded fins, that jagged scar that split their face like a five-pointed star blooming from an eye clouded over, how her other always bore into him. “I am it.” Wide and transfixed with a thinly slitted pupil. A stare that was detached and feelingless, and yet whole-heartedly invested in all the same. Always watching. Like he was something precious, something that held all the universe in his pelt, and at the same time, like he shouldn’t exist at all. Maybe it would have been creepy. Maybe it was. “Then what are you?” But at that time, it was all that he knew. “I don’t know. Will you tell me.” And all that he had to know. “Uh… I don’t know what you are though…” And all that he had. “...” It stared at him, he tried not to shrink under its stare. And then- it turned. To swim away out of the underwater cave he no longer remembered he was once not allowed to leave. No longer remembered how, for as little long as he once could remember, he was there alone. No longer remembered how he hated to be alone. How he would do anything to keep it around longer, during the sparse and fleeting few times she would appear. “Wait-!” He called out, rising from the circle of rocks and shells that was his nest, filled with things he no longer remembered it bringing him back every time they returned. “Uh- I was just kidding! I know what you are!” He said quickly. He no longer remembered how it stilled for several moments, before wordlessly swimming back towards him, settling by the nest and staring at him with a wide, utterly transfixed stare. He no longer remembered what he told her, or the many other things that he told them after that. No longer remembered that each thing he would say, it would listen. No longer remembered how that to not be alone meant to tell things, even if the things he told were not true. After all, he didn’t know a lot of things as such a young kit. All he had was whatever spawned within the sparks of his mind. But it never corrected him, or told him that he was wrong. He no longer remembered how everything he said, she took as though it was fact. … “..Why am I here?” He no longer remembered why it was a dangerous game to ask questions, to not ‘know’, and answer them himself. No longer remembered how there was a good chance it would simply leave, and he would be left all alone in the dark seacave den. But there was sometimes, *one* time, that it actually answered. “Because you are a piece of fallen star.” It said. “A.. Star?” He no longer remembered how his little face had scrunched up in confusion. “The northern star. Fallen into the sea.” And he no longer remembered.. “But.. That doesn’t answer my question! If I’m from the stars, why am I *here*?” How that one question changed *everything*. It had swam up close to him, and he shrunk back under her piercing stare. “Because you have a purpose here that the stars sent you to fulfil.” It said, their tone had been just as monotone and robotic as always. “And if you fail them, they won’t take you back. And you’ll never be whole again.” “I..” He no longer remembered the feeling of his eyes stinging, or his heart beating faster with sinking dread creeping down his spine, all the way down to the tip of his shimmering tail. “Then.. What is my purpose..?” “...” He no longer remembered how It didn’t answer. Too many questions. And they had wordlessly turned and swam out the den. “N-NO! WAIT!” He had wailed after her, swimming after their white form but pausing at the threshold of the den, in fear of crossing. “I-I’m sorry! Come back! Don’t leave me here alone!” He no longer remembered how that was the last time he ever saw It. How she didn’t return like the other times that they left them alone. No longer remembered how after days, the hunger had finally caused him to finally leave that den. To be found by a Seaclan patrol, and adopted into the clan by Heartbreakhaven. He no longer remembered… …And yet, some other part of him did. And it never forgot.
