Today is my birthday. I just hit a milestone and I’ve been contemplating a lot recently so you get to hear my rambles I think a lot about my life and everything that has happened that’s brought me to this point. I’ve been treated badly, I’ve treated other people badly, I’ve made stupid decisions, I’ve pushed people away, and I’ve lost so many people. This last year in particular was a doozy. The harassment, the social drama, the panic attacks, the relapsing, and now the scars I have to show for it. I’m in no regards a happy person, and usually all I can think about is what other people did that made me this way. The horrible thing is when I turned around and did it to someone else. That made me realize, I’m not the victim in my life. I can’t blame all my negative feelings and emotions on other people. Sure they had a lot to play in it, but me myself I’m just generally crappy a lot of the time. But this project isn’t meant to be a vent or a bashing on myself. I’m happy with the people I surround myself with now and out of all the negative influences in my life, my friends have been able to help me stay on track and keep me alive. So while I may not always feel like my life is something to be celebrated, I’m reassured that other people are willing to do so I love you all
