(TW: complaining and ranting) I mean I love my friend, and we do swim training together all the time and she is so much faster than me, and I mean so much, by two seconds. She’s always in the fast lane while I’m in the slow one, and always gets PBs like it’s nothing and she never really tries ( or at least that’s what she says). She knows ( or thinks ) I don’t have potential, and since I’m her competition, she always tells me things like I should go slow on this one or I’m such a sweat because I want a new personal best and train on the days that she always encourages me to skip. And today I did a competition and so she kept asking me, or are you going to go chill on this one, on this race and so I was like yeah I mean ig right, and then my mom tells me it costs so much money to put me in the comp so I lock In and sprint my 50 freestyle and get 36 ( keep in mind this is not even a new PB). And she is isn’t even at the comp, she’s too old. Instead, she’s stalking the swimming app??? The one where it says my name and the competition?? And I’m sitting there going, Uhm.. why do you care. Then she asks me oh why didn’t you go slow, you sweat, you liar and when I told her my mom said it costed money she said it didn’t and that it was free, even though she wasn’t even invited. Which hurt my feelings bcuz I’m tight on money rn because my mom is going thru financial issues because my dad passed away a long time ago, so I’m really trying to make the most of my opportunities. And for the other events I did pretty well, and even scored a Free PB ( 35.3 seconds) on the 200 Free relay, and I was so happy abt it bcuz It was like a year since my time had I rocked and instead she says that I need to stop being so cocky and that I’m such a sweat in swimming and try so hard, and i dunno, I just want to be good at something, even though I’m not that good. Maybe she’s afraid I’ll get better than her??? I don’t really know what to do because I was not acting like I was better than her I was jsut being happy, and when I said someone in the year below me said I was some of her fav older people, she told me that they liked her better than me and that I was like 3rd ( which tbh idc cuz third is pretty good) idk what to do with this gurl atp, like she calls me a sweat for going 3 times a week but she goes 5??? And she’s besties with some guy who goes mornings and afternoons ever week but never calls him a swear, I don’t get it, why does it matter that I want to get good at something, why does it matter that I want to have a sport that I can say: “oh I’m actually not too bad at it”? Idk she wasn’t even at the comp, she wasn’t even supposed to look at the times and become all competitive, and then as she calls ms a try hard and a sweat and a mediocre swimmer who puts too much effort in, she says: “oh I wish I was there,” but if she says it it’s ok, but if I said it I would be canceled. I don’t get it, I’m suddenly not so happy I got a PB. I don’t know anymore I should have just gone slow n stuff What do I do?
