Guess who’s back? Back again-

Instructions

((TW: mentions of d3ath and illness, pretty sad post overall)) Sunset’s back! Tell a friend!! Haha anyways, hi to anyone still on scratch! I’ve just found myself being fairly active on scratch again for the last month or so and figured it was time I finally posted something. I haven’t been on scratch for a while because I was just very overwhelmed with a lot of things going on in my life. I lost my dog who we’d had for 10 out of the 15 years of my life in early October and that really took a toll on me. She was perfectly healthy but suddenly went blind about a week before her decline. The day before she passed she went for a walk, ate all her meals and was drinking water with no problems whatsoever. The next morning she couldn’t get out of bed and was very unwell and unfortunately passed. We don’t know for sure but because of the crazy fast decline the vet thought it may have been “the big C” if you know what I mean (idk if I can say that on scratch). That was very sad for me but I really have a hard time letting my emotions out and typically try to push them down and distract myself which was why I tried to continue with my scaramouche costume making series (which I may post the results for soon because I feel bad for falling off the face of the earth) but unfortunately I was just incredibly discouraged because I had tech week for our school musical, there was a v!olenc3 (tried to make that understandable but I’m really trying not to get flagged) scare at my school and the weather was horrible the two nights I went out in my costume and it essentially got destroyed which was really upsetting because I worked so hard. Also I’ve had a hard time finding time to share things because my school blocked scratch entirely on our school chromebooks and it’s really hard for me to use it on mobile. Anyways, I’ve really just been taking time to decompress and work on myself but unfortunately, I’m back because of another less than great reason. Again, because I’m not great at grieving and try to distract myself by any means necessary I’ve been drawn back to scratch out of boredom and desperation for something to do after the passing of a work friend of mine in early April. Now I won’t share too many details out of respect for him and his family’s privacy but he was a very young adult and very quickly and suddenly got very sick with 2 autoimmune diseases and yet again, “the big C”. I am very grateful to be so lucky that he is the only young person that I have been close to that I’ve lost in my life, but unfortunately, that doesn’t ease the pa!n any. He really was an incredible person and I was always so excited to work with him. We were always joking around and talking about music and he was always practicing his grip strength for rock climbing. He taught me so many things about my job and got me to listen to 21pilots’ Clancy when it first came out. I would always know he was working because he was either whistling or singing along to something. I have never seen someone operate a genie like him, any time there was a tight spot on set but we needed to reach a light his mom would always warn him that he wouldn’t make it, but I would he hear the beeping of the genie rolling in anyway because he was determined to make it work. He would drive that thing in like a wizard and make it to the spot with a quarter inch of space left on either side of the machine lol. I really miss him so much. I wasn’t originally going to go to his services because I only know his mom and sister but it seemed like his mom really wanted me to be there so I guess I’m going next week. I only found out about his passing 2 days later halfway through the school day through my best friend and I just cried the whole rest of the day. I’ve found myself thinking about him just about every day and crying off and on. Lately I’ve just been a shell of a person and generally just pathetic. I’ve been overly emotional which is not usual for me and I’ve really just needed something to do. I guess that’s why I’ve been back on scratch, just needing something to do. So anyway, that’s why I’m here, this was a really hard project for me to make and even though I cried a lot writing this out I’m glad I did I because I haven’t actually gotten a chance to express my feelings about any of this until now and honestly, writing is so much easier than talking. I’ll try to share some art once in a while and hopefully the product of my costume. Thank you to everyone for being patient and not harass!ng me about the series I started and never finished. I’m very grateful for all of the new followers I’ve received while I was gone even though I haven’t shared anything new to deserve them haha. I’m hoping to become more active and eventually return to the community. Thank you very much for letting me yap and have a lovely rest of your day/night! Hopefully I’ll have something for you all shortly! :))