Yes, it has come to this. Three years of this website’s existence in my life, and now I’m letting go. I’ve been planning this ever since August 2025 honestly, I always wanted to leave. This website had its ups and downs, it’s special placement in my life, but now it’s time to cut it out. And the fact that I’ve been begging myself to leave for ten months now is more than enough to make me let go of this site forever. I’ve always wanted to leave because of school. Of course, that has always been my predominant reason. Yesterday, I was just counting the years until college. It’s too small of a gap - I used to tell myself that a year is 365 days and that that’s a really long time, but I just now realize that the years before college are also crucial for my future. The truth is, the truth that I don’t want to admit, school is so important for us. We may not care about it that much, we may neglect our duties, we may not care about what adults warn us about, but I do. I’m going into a point in my life where school is serious. Extremely serious. It all sounds too scary, too surreal, but it’s true. You only live once, I’m not about to let scratch ruin my one chance at a good life. If I don’t study and work hard, how do I expect to get a job and earn that cash to buy my needs? Everyone always insults someone who loves money, but they have a point. If we don’t use our money wisely, we may have none left and you’ll go through hardship. I want to study, make my chances of going to Harvard higher, pay attention in class, do good in school so that I can grow up, get a job that pays good money, be successful in life, and yes, if I have to sacrifice one childhood hobby to live a good life then I will. Because I’m not letting scratch distract me from school. I know, maybe I can cut time off scratch, take breaks, but the truth is I’m losing interest and motivation in scratch. The old me, who loved scratch, posted a million projects a day, is no longer here anymore. Scratch used to be fun, I used to post silly doodles that I actually thought were cute, I used to post projects and call them animations when the characters were moving like robots. It was funny, maybe some people even thought in their minds “what is wrong with this girl?” but it was me. The real me. The truth is, I’m not the perfect, aesthetic girl who loves music and p2n. I know, I know, we grow up, we change, I know that, but I hate it. I don’t want to change. I don’t want to grow up. I want to be the same, innocent, silly girl who didn’t care about what others thought, I want to be the same girl whose banners were trash, whose banners and pfps had no overlays, I want to be the same girl who thought her doodles were a masterpiece. Scratch has changed me - sometimes I think for the better, but not now. I’m not Amina. I’m not Lucy. I’m not Fay. I’m just me. But the truth is I know I will never go back to the old me. Plus, the new me has gotten into more drama than the old me, I’ve hurt myself twice as more than the old me on this website. And I know, not everyone is going to like you, but this is too much. And the scratch team isn’t even making an effort to stop it tbh, they’re banning the innocent people, while the ppl who are causing all the adversity are roaming free, with unbanned accounts. Plus, not to mention the AI that scratch is using. It hasn’t affected me much, but soon it will. AI is taking over our world and tbh I don’t like the idea of that. I just want to leave overall, this site is toxic, demotivating, and so many more pessimistic things. My parents explicitly prohibited scratch. I’ve been sneaking it, and honestly, I feel guilty. I don’t care about being caught, I don’t care about getting in trouble, I just don’t like the idea of being insubordinate to my parents. I feel guilty, and the only way to wash that away is to finally listen to them, be the obedient daughter they deserve. And I’m saying this from experience - I wish I listened to them sooner. They’re right. I shouldn’t be talking to people across the country from me, for all I know I could be talking to a fifty year old (not saying I don’t trust you guys, I love all my friends sm but if there’s one thing I learned from life it’s that you can’t trust anybody) and we’re so seduced to sharing private information but we don’t even think about who we’re sharing it to, idek what people could do with pictures of me, my irl name, where I live, etc. Like I said, you can’t trust anybody. I love and trust my online friends I promise, but this is more of advice for everyone - not everyone can be trusted. But other than that, scratch is a terrible website. I hate to say so, but it’s true. I’ve grown to hate it. Tbh I’ve grown to hate everything, maybe that’s why I hate it, maybe that’s why I have such a pessimistic view on it, but I have my reasons. I have so many reasons, I really do. (continued in notes & creds )
I’m honestly just busy overall. I have so many revamps that I so desperately want to revamp to, then I make a pfp and banner and pour my heart and soul into it because I love the revamp idea and I want it to shine. Then I set a date to revamp and then I think of another revamp idea and then it’s just a cycle. Plus I have so many project ideas and I want to post them, I want you guys to see my projects, not for popularity but for your own entertainment. Maybe my projects aren’t the most entertaining or intriguing, bcs I don’t want to be arrogant, but I hope they are. But it’s only now that I realize that scratch is taking over my life, or maybe I acknowledged it before, I just never realized it was a bad thing. I neglect my duties, I ignore reality, I give people irl blank responses while staring at my screen and while they’re laughing and smiling and trying to have fun with me I’m forcing a laugh that sounds so evidently fake. I feel bad, honestly, I don’t want to be rude. I don’t want to ignore them. I might as well tell them to leave me alone. But the truth is I don’t want to. That’s the thing about scratch. It’s addicting. Metaphorically, I’ve been telling my more important duties “I’m busy” but the truth is what am I busy with? Scratch isn’t something that should take up my life, it isn’t something that’s supposed to make me neglect all my other important duties. It was just supposed to be a website to share projects and go on occasionally. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Really, it wasn’t. I should be telling scratch that I’m busy, bcs I am. I’m busy with so many more than just scratch. I don’t know how scratch was ever something important to me. It’s not now, I can tell you that. But through scratch’s ups and downs, there were the kind people. The people who had my back no matter what. To those people (yk who you are) I’m so incredibly thankful. I don’t even know how to elucidate it, but you mean so much to me. Every small compliment you guys gave me, no matter how small, was big enough to make my days. To those people, I will miss you more than you could ever imagine. There is so much love, so much joy on this website, along with the negatives. If there are no negatives, there wouldnt be any positives. I look back, read my conversations with others, smile at how kind you guys are. Ilyasm, tyasm for literally everything. You mean so incredibly much to me. To my besties, the one who were always there for me, I have written you guys notes (look inside) x Ofc I’ll have p2n so if you have p2n tell me your p2n and I’ll message you so we can kit. Pls acknowledge that I’m going to be less active on p2n then I will be on scratch. Next time I’m online I’ll see your message and message you on p2n (I’ll prob check in every one to two months or so) I have so much more I could say, but I’ll leave it at here and I won’t bore you hehehe. all my love, Amina x * sorry for the long desc :P if you read all that you’re amazing * If I didn’t write you a note and you expected one, pls lemme know right away. I promise I tried to include everyone I could remember at the time, but maybe I didn’t remember you or we haven’t talked in a while. Again pls just lemme know and I’ll write you a note right away. Sososo sorry if your note is short or not as sweet, I was rushing when I was making these bcs im really busy these days. If you take offense in it PLSSSSS lemme know I’ll make it better right away ilygs x Also notes kept getting deleted for some reason so if your note isn’t there and we have talked lately and we’re really close then pls lemme know bcs it most likely got deleted </3 “I’m there most of year ‘cause I hate it here” iykyk "felt good about you 'till i didnt" (iykyk) how i feel about scratch