Its been some time, it may be more. I've been going through some obstacles right now. Not particularly in scratch, but other platforms like D.C. Lately, Scratch has not been so enjoyable as it use to be. A lot has changed, and lately its been less "happy" in my opinion. Work has been pushing me down lately, My relationship with my family starts to deteriorate sometimes. And the worst of it all is I'm not finding pleasure or enjoyment in what I do anymore. Its more like a curse, or a burden for me to work. As I feel like I'm just drawing for myself, or cover something up in my life, The more I try to hide whats been going on, the worse it gets. Its kinda like everytime I try to figure out how to fix something, more and more problems or "cracks" start appearing. And its to the point, I almost give up entirely. With my brother, its even worse. SInce hes going through his own issues, and is struggling with OCD, and Depression. And watching him spiral further down, as me and my family try to do all we can, to help me. It just hurts, I can't stop blaming myself for all the bad things I use to do to him when we were young. Makes me feel pathetic almost, like no matter what I do to help my brother, it will never change the fact that I hurt him, and I hate that. I wish I never did anything to him, sometimes I imagine if I didn't he wouldn't be so depressed, or wouldn't struggle so much. For starters, hes failing. The school we both enrolled in, watches him 24/7, while I get all the straight A's. And I'm so freakin desperate to the point, I try and do my brothers work for him. He tells me no every time, I understand. He doesn't want to see me spiral downwards on all that pressure that hes hoding, but I just can't sit and watch him stress out all the time.
