lol I'll probably take this down soon, so take this with a grain of salt! Warning, I'm kinda talking about mental stuff here! Sorry guys! Some of you may have noticed my activity kinda flickering in and out lately! I'm so so so sorry, I'll explain that soon! I feel super bad about this but I'm not in a great position right now! I've kinda been going through it lately, since January. I'm really embarrassed about it though, since I live in a really conservative area with really conservative parents. And there's nothing wrong with that, I'm a conservative since I basically have to be and it's whatever, (haha I feel like an imposter on this site lol shh im hiding among u guys) but my parents are really traditional. So mental heath issues are like, eew what a loser basically. Idk, my Mom just makes it out to be something to be ashamed of and stuff, so I can't really talk about it, yk? Basically I think I have depression! Not to be like, an attention seeker or anything I'm not a professional and I can't diagnose it, but I can't really go to anyone or anything. Anyways, not to rant about my mental stuff, but my point is I'm not doing so hot! I think they caught on though so I have to go on antidepressants next month! Anyways, I'm the oldest of six kids so my parents have a lot of other people to care about and I'm lowkey mediocre, plus my mom doesn't like me that much. So I'm kinda just existing, and I'm trying to deal with some problems rn without like, actually talking to other people about it. I had to go to a psychiatrist but my mom was literally right next to me the whole time so I couldn't exactly say anything, so I've basically gotten nowhere. Also, I think something's up with my um stuff. This is really hard to admit, but I tried to tell my mom I sorta liked girls and she was pretty pissed. I think I like both, if yk what I mean, but not like, in a pride way with labels and flags. I don't really want to talk about it cuz it's lowk embarrassing, but I basically got shoved back into the closet. Which brings us to my point. The potential hiatus. Last summer I bough my own drawing tablet to make digital art and post on here and such. Well, my mom has been doing this thing where she randomly takes it and like, hides it, which sucks cuz then I can't draw or visit this site. That's why I keep dipping out. She kinda just snatched it up the other day and I was like "Hey, uh mom can I use my drawing board?" and she was like "no" and I'm still trying but it's kinda tricky! Which is why I can't really post or finish any requests! I'm so sorry to the people I owe art to, I keep stalling and making excuses, but I'll try my best to get to it eventually, I'm kinda just having a little roadblock right now. And I love Olive and I want to finish up her life and everything, but I'm sort of struggling to do so since I don't exactly have a device or anything right now. I'm pretty annyed because I literally bought my XP Pen myself, but it's whatever. I also took on another job, so now I work at a party place and a florist, so I'm very busy with work and might have even less time. (unfortunately no I'm not a cutesy florist i do the cleaning and grunt work lol we'll get there one day.) EDIT yo I might be going for a third job for the weekends when I'm not busy :0 there's this art gallery that is thinking about hiring me haha should i do it? am literally stacking rn im jobbmaxxing also this isn't meant to be a vent post, even though it lowk is! Idk I don't wanna sound like a whiner ive just got a lot on my mind haha By the way! I just finished the Summer Hikaru Died, we /have/ to talk about this masterpiece it's literally so peak
