hey everyone, another vent project :P (this should be the last, i hope) i just had a very bad panic attack due my computer randomly bugging out and getting me into debug, which doesnt mean anything wrong with it but it scared me so bad i genuinely felt as if my heart was going to leave my body, and afterward (and now) my heart still hurts. in general, life hasnt been the best, from me being overly anxious over the tiniest things, its no wonder i had a panic attack, as everything has been leading up to that one moment where even when it wasnt an actual problem, i still had a panic attack. i try to talk to everyone, and then get overwhelmed with everyone, even if in all actuality, i dont really talk to that much people. not to mention the fact that my eyes hurt whenever looking outside when the suns out, especially if looking at concrete. though i havent had to wear my brace in a few weeks due to my AC being broke ;-;, i still feel very angry whenever even looking at it, and i always get uncomfortable pains in my back or my left leg due to my scoliosis, and i find myself unable to sleep due to said uncomfortable pains. everything is so overwhelming, and though i love this life and i wouldnt choose anything of it i feel hate towards it, and myself for enabling myself to spiral downwards due to me not going outside. and theres always little things, im paranoid of everyone secretly HATING me, im scared of a hurricane destroying the levees and flooding my house, im scared of my computer randomly breaking, etc, etc, etc. i'll probably try taking a break, i dont know what to do right now, i feel stuck, really stuck.
ive also been eating random things (things like tags on clothes) ;-;
