(scroll) (warning, vent is poorly worded. take everything with a grain of salt, it's complicated. anything derogatory said is not intentional.) As you all know, I'm AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) and have (mostly) stayed that way. However. I have a creeping feeling that I'm more psychologically female than male. Gender tests? I CONSISTENTLY get more female % than male %. Favorite colors? Bright and vibrant, leaning on the purple side. Dating preferences? If I were female I'd be straight, but I'm male for some reason, yet I still like men. Do I get picked on at school? Yes, but it's always other male classmates for some reason (they don't know about any of my problems). Hell, even physically my body shape is slightly feminine; a bit of an hourglass. I'm just... Generally more feminine than I am masculine. I do more female stuff than male stuff, it's like I'm not male at times. (this is probably just me being pedantic, but i still feel more female than male in general.) I don't know what causes this. Autism? Nurture? Denial? Do I have some sort of undiscovered mental illness? I don't know. All that I know is that I'm male when I feel like I'm supposed to be female; I feel dysphoric, detached. Am I transgender in denial? Please ask me questions to help me better understand myself.
This is NOT a vent about self-harm or any of that stuff, but you should still tread with caution. Topic TL;DR: Struggling to understand my sense of gender, feeling very female despite being born male. Dysphoria presumable.
