vent i think

Instructions

/!\ this is a vent ok so just a warning for that alr (this includes many sensitive & triggering topics for ppl!!) /!\ if this gets taken down i understand --- do note that my parents are not abusive, nor neglectful. They are not super discriminatory nor toxicly religious. They are not like that. They js feel invalidating/insensitive sometimes. i had a breakdown i think when my parents felt like they were pressuring me abt hw again. reasonably so, i was failing grades bc of not doing my work. I can't remember now exactly what caused me to run, but i did. For at least 2 hrs, i was a technically missing person. i ended up on the other side of the city entirely. Not too long in I started talking to myself out loud and eventually singing. I stopped at some point though. I was terrified, grape and other horrible acts are very real, and i was a young girl running through a city at night, sometimes in super shady areas. Thankfully, that did not happen. I was crying for a lot of it i started deeply wanting to go home at around a point i could probably js turn around but idrk why i didnt. I think it just felt too scary to try going back bc that would mean admitting i was a coward. It wasn't even in the most shady area that I saw an either dr*gg3d or mentally ill or maybe neurodivergent (most likely the 1st one i think) woman sitting at a table looking like an autism sterotype. I ran past her in fear bc ive been taught not to mess w/ ppl in that state. A man in a maroon car also tried to ask me if i wanted a drive home. He smiled at me weird. I wasn't that stupid. I immediately ran as fast as i could with legs that were already starting to hurt and socks that i think had holes in em. I knew downtown decently enough to get myself to somewhere more populated. I was praying someone would have genuine intention of wanting to help the poor limping girl that looks terrified, but i learned no one will interact. If they do, they're just staring. I don't know what they could've thought i was. I didn't know people could be like that, I thought most wanted to be the hero in the story. I started trying to take breaks because my legs were really really hurting, and my feet felt pain with each step. i had the goal of finding some officer or smth to turn myself in. In the darkness, i went the wrong way, wasting my energy, but i turned around to try my parents' workplace. I had a memory of last time i had been theyre, i didn't realize that no one would be there except a security guard in the lobby who seemed to not notice me at all. I sat outside the building to rest and try to rethink things, i recognized the provocative billboard near the freaky store. It was a landmark i had naturally gotten in my brain relative to other things near our actual home. Finally, i was given a hero. a man in a white car who looked genuinely concerned, asking if i needed help. but i got scared and just shook my head, waiting until i could finally just run (or limp skip ig) under the bridge with like 3 homeless ppl under it. The bridge was wider than i thought. I limp skipping across the road and then limped briskly as i could under the bridge, getting spooked by a homeless person coughing from under the tarp they slept in which made me use my legs as fast as i could. I was thinking of places that were open 24/7. i thought of the sonic in this direction but then remembered the children's hospital was same direction, a little further but probably filled with more trusted ppl willing to help. i could hardly walk 10ft without needing a short break. That's when i saw it after passing abt 4 strangers. A cop car. I ran with the last of my energy across that wide street. I was asked my name and stuff. That's when i learned i was being looked for bc the man spoke into his radio seemingly describing me as if i was matching some sort of description. he called up another cop to take me home, i was patted down, put in the backseat, and driven back to where i came from. I think i was also asked why i did it. I did not know. I just said i was stressed. Dad hugged me and would not let go. 2 strangers (a couple seemingly) waved and smiled, mom later explained those ppl helped look for me. I was told to thank the cops so i did. I was terrified when the cops left. my mom lectured me, explained how they had helicopters looking for me and stuff, how me running away wasted all their resources, and how that was an actual felony, and i couldve been sent to juvenile. about how my father searched the streets up and down, crying. i did not go to school the next day. My mom asked me where i ran the 1st few days afterwards. i tried to explain, but they were mostly questions of "is this where you went?" when we were driving places. Apparently if i had went a diff way i couldve ended up on the actually crime filled area on that side of town. My parents had heard gunshots there before