I know I'm not really the type to vent, but I've just felt so awful lately I need somewhere to get it out. I feel so alone. Barely any of my friends are really talking to me, and I just feel so excluded constantly. I used to feel so excited about life, but now I just hate it. I have no friends outside of school in person, and there are only 40 kids in our school. I never enjoy swimming lessons. I'm stressed constantly. I've cried myself to sleep an embarrassing amount of times wondering how it all changed so fast. One week I could be hanging out with my friends, everyone's happy, next week I could be all alone while they all have fun without me. I hate school. I feel so alone at home. Whenever I try and talk about my feelings, it's all blamed on me being sensitive and my autism. My siblings are older than me. My brother is a teenager and my sister is an adult. They wouldn't be hanging out with me. Both my parents work hard for hours each day and then have to spend time cooking and eating, which leaves me feeling alone all the time. I don't like people helping me. But I don't like feeling like no one cares. No one could care. The only time people speak to me is about deadlines and some stuff that never reflects to how I feel awful inside. I have now 9 days until my birthday, and I don't have any excitement in me. It's all been sucked up by my socials. No one fully understands me. I don't fully understand others. I'm sick of constantly having a headache, sick of having to be alone while others have fun, sick of no one caring. I feel so empty sometimes, and I wish people would actually just see this and hear me out for once...
