EXCUSE ME? ★ dreamfantasy srp

Instructions

EXCUSE ME? ★ dreamfantasy srp the hybrid tom stared straight ahead and up at the feline who had just spoken. his pupil-less gaze narrowed, throat drying in real time—they had to pause before responding, heart tight and uncomfortably anxious. ❝ excuse me? ❞ they say, tone hard and frozen. ❝ trapperfury is uh, they passed in their sleep. ❞ kadigan repeated, seeming uncomfortable with the ice-cold look placed upon their figure. dreamfantasy's heart completely seemed to studder to a wrecked stop. emotions fought for dominance at his core, a rare occurrence for the reserved tom. surely this was some kind of cruel joke, a mock to try and get him to lose his cool. but it won't work, it /cannot/ work. why would it? i have no connection to trapperfury now, do i? you do. you do. i know i do. oneself is a fool. this is fake. why were they letting their composure loose? trapperfury could not die. they pulled to their paws, clearing their throat. he tilts his head to the right to put kadigan out of his blind patch and begins to stalk forward. ❝ i suggest you step back and allow oneself passage, ❞ they hiss, pausing at the entrance of the warrior's den—he'd been lazing to steal a blip of sleep after patrols like an idiot. as soon as his clanmate scurried back, dreamfantasy skulked forward and made a beeline for the elders' den—barely pausing to go through the lava river that stretched across camp. they didn't even realize, for once, that their ears were flickered back; foolish, foolish emotion showing on their stature. he slipped into the den to see parameter tending to a sight they'd never imagined seeing. trapperfury- trapper/star/'s limp body, curled up peacefully in sleep. but it didn't look peaceful. not to him. it looked /dead/. dreamfantasy's eyes widened further, claws extending and curling into the ground as if to stabilize him. sensing a presence, parameter turned, but dreamfantasy was already gone. he was speeding for the camp exit, entire body tense. this /could not/ be a correct circumstance, could it now? no. trapperstar didn't die. trapperstar couldn't die. they'd always refused to acknowledge—was /still/ trying to to save himself from the grief and trepidation inching up his spine—any bond, any respect, any comfort they found in trapperstar's presence. but they couldn't hide it. couldn't hide the fact they wanted to kill their emotionless demeanour and yowl at the sky brokenly. did trapperstar know? did they know dreamfantasy lingered after conversations he claimed to hate? did it know he searched for that familiar form in camp without meaning to? did it know it'd dragged him back from death with a chill in his paws and terror in his throat? did they know? because dreamfantasy had never told him. oneself is so shallow. /i'm/ so shallow. wanting to preserve a reputation that was never there. a fool oneself was. a fool i am. ... i am. not oneself. not the cold, untouchable creature i've spent moons building. just i. but that i /cannot/. /must not/ break here where they can see. don't let them see he cares about someone. that could put him at risk. could put voyagelegacy at risk. he'd be kicked out for his weakness, exiled back to the cold. the chill and the frost biting at his paws. please. how are they /dead/? ... his mind fell silent, but the viper was omnipresent as he tried to focus on his hurried pawsteps, now located out on pyroclan's territory. so much further out than they'd thought they'd ended up going. but they didn't stop. not until they arrived at the border. oneself can't stay anywhere— anywhere trapperstar— ... baba. the word slipped free of his mind before he could kill it. baba. not trapperstar. not leader. not elder. baba. and suddenly breathing hurt. the idea of staying hurt more. but. voyagelegacy. oneself could not leave him. you make that promise. YOU MADE THAT PROMISE, YOU IDIOT. this is why you're so stupid. shallow. maybe trapperstar is gone because there was nothing left for it to live for now that oneself's siblings were gone. no- but voyagelegacy was still here. voyagelegacy was a good feline, and dreamfantasy would /never/ admit that for anyone. not aloud. but not for anybody else. dreamfantasy had to make sure this didn't happen to him, at all costs, he decided coldly. they could not leave. they must endure. they must endure for voyagelegacy. or else he couldn't live with himself. and for a moment he looked like a rabid animal as he thought that, expressing /physical/ emotion. his teeth ground against eachother as he fought back a wail of anguish. no. trapperstar doesn't mean that much to you. the lie tasted bitter in his head. a single tear struck the dusty ground. then another. dreamfantasy squeezed his eyes shut after. sleep, he told the viper as it tried to knock the dam. and then, for the first time since hearing the news, he stopped running.