freeze? a - srp

Instructions

[a few tw for a bit of grief and a tad bit of self hatred erm stay safe out there] Blessedhope didn’t know what to say as she walked away. Bye? Love you? Where did you go..? It had always known, just like Leopardlark, that there was something different about both it and Hauntedhollow. It just didn’t know that Hauntedhollow could see. Not ghosts At least, not the good kind. They could see those evil cats, the ones that didn’t deserve to go to StarClan. Oh here it was, sounding like a kit again. Blessedhope didn’t want to see these ghosts. They’d brought nothing but dread its whole life. Sure, maybe Krakenheart had been nice to talk to, but that was near the extent of the good. What about the bad? The worry The heartache The terror Hope didn’t feel Blessed. It didn’t feel like it could live up to its namesake. Why should it? The only thing those ghosts did was bring more stress. It had said it before, and it would say it again. Being ‘Blessed’, was not the best. And it would never be the best. Who wanted to walk through the snowy fields, and finally see its parent after moons of distance? Of work and training, only to see that her paws didn’t break the protective seal of snow. Only to see the stars glittering off of the ice shards littering their pelt. Who wanted to be able to see their best friend, sit next to their sibling, and still feel.. Feel.. Feel An interesting concept, sure. Hope knew it could feel the pelts of the deceased, knew it would always be able to see the past. But what about the future? It couldn't envision the future like it used to. What was it going to be like? Hope never tried arguing with its name. But now? It wanted to feel hope so, so badly. But how could it Knowing that its sibling would forever be threatened by those things And its privileged tail would be able to talk with Leopardlark like it was nothing? Not fair That’s what they had said, right? And they were right. It wasn’t fair. Not that ..it didn’t have any faith in Hauntedhollow, but it should’ve been it. It should’ve been it that had to deal with the creatures, not them. And they were right It wouldn’t ever have to say goodbye But would it ever find the chance to say hello? Would it ever gain the courage to look a cat in the yellow eye, and say hello? Say I love you? A rock tumbled away from its paws, skittering across the frozen pond. Such a wonderful sound The clink of a rock tapping against ice I love you Where had it heard that before? From Leopardlark? Maybe Something fell from its cheek, joining the rock on the pond and freezing against the water. Then another It wasn’t fair. It wanted to help And another It wanted to be worthy enough for them. Another Who? More Who did it want to be worthy for? Something racked its body, and an unholy sound raptured the thoughts spiraling, and the small icecat tucked its head beneath its paws, cold paws meeting its eyes. Maybe it could just freeze Freeze its eyes closed and it wouldn’t have to see them anymore. Wouldn’t be plagued by those thoughts anymore What a silly thought Of course it couldn’t freeze It still had cats..? To look over Or maybe it didn’t Maybe they didn’t Wouldn’t Want someone as cursed as it "Wonderful night for stargazing, ain't it?"