I've realized ppl online are so much nicer than ppl in irl cuz wdym I get hurt by people I exist with everyday but people who don't even know what goes on in my daily life care about me more? what is this? ppl who knew I've s3lf h4rmed literally did not care all they said was "stop...for me..?" HA NO? and then they go and end up hurting me like...? we can't be serious brotatoechip and bsffr they only say that so they can sleep better at night and feel like a "better" person. lets say I go on a hiatoes right? (yes I put hiatoes) bc of mental health reasons blah blah wtv, people who I've NEVER talked to or I barely talk to, like a fellow member in a s-pop group im in, they'll treat me better and comfort me better than any one of my "friends" ever had. for example I was v0miting I said it on here everyone wished me to get better and if u didn't know I had an iv put in me. I went and I told my little cousin who were not blood related, but we say we're cousins bc we've known each other for 8 yrs and live with each other, anywhoo I had told her "hey I can't come to dance class tmmrw bc I v0mited twice last night" bc we go to a Colombian dance class together and yk what her response was..? "oop"... OOP? not a "omg _______ are u okay?" or a "are you feeling better?" or a "oh get better soon!" ANYTHING WOULD"VE BEEN NICE but no I js got an "oop" WHILE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM WHO DONT KNOW ME ASKED ME HOW I WAS AND HOW I WAS FEELING. I had posted myself with the iv on my snap story..NONE OF MY FRIENDS ASKED ME HOW I WAS NONE OF THEM (didn't do it for attention it was to test them), so its pretty sad knowing people you care about and talk to everyday don't care much about you. but in my religion it's foreseen I would have problems finding ACTUAL REAL 100% REAL FRIENDS like maybe ONE but I think I f-ck3d it up with that one in a million chance friend so that's so amazing! but yea that's the vent for today!
