I genually don't get life why is it that i'm the one everyone in my class hat3s???? it's so annoying how i'm constantly trying with anxeity + sleeping disorder + dyslexia + year 8 hw + my bros. I know ppl have it worse then me but i made a project like a month or so ago + it was due 3rd lesson tdy. In form time I decided to completly re do the WHOLE thing like right from scratch bc before schl someone was like ur not gonna get graded. Then I have 2 bros and a family gc. Everyday I try my hardest in litrally everything and when I try to rest or relax I'm told 'Amelia you need to do something don't just sit there/ watch tv/ go on your phone' so then I do work and I'm told it's not good enough. Like it's genuanlly so annoying like give me a break!!! And they always parise my lil bros but they rarely praise me. Then tdy I was litrally arguing with my teacher saying give us more time cuz I have 2 challange tasks + 2 tests. Then at night I can't sleep so I jst stare at the celling and think about life and end up procassinating. Then 1 of my perants threaten to take away my headphones 'beacuse I have attitude + am sarcastic'. honestly if i didn't have my headphones I'd be way worse rn. then at schl ppl tell me 2 stop using my phone (ppl in my class) like i use my phone to a) listen 2 and change music b) write a book + c) go on p!ntr35t. I'm so upset rn bc I barley rember my life when it was less work + less well whatever it is rn. another rant (written 1mnth ago on my alts)--- Hi guys for the rant look here: I'm genraly scared, I no longer know who to trust and who not to. At school most of my form/ class hates me.They give me so many exams. I know other ppl have it worse but it feels like the only friend group where I acc fit in is in another class. At home I keep on having to mask and restraint myself from the real me. It feels like all my best friends are online. I have too many secrets and no longer know the REAL me. The only life I acc know is the daydreams I escape to the ones that will never come true. I can't even cry anymore bc when I do I get panic attacks and there are times where I actaually start hating my self. I told one of my friends part of this and she said to live for marvel, star wars and taylor. Honestly, idk if I even want 2 anymore the only reason I've not gone completely overdrive is bc of my 'daydreams' , storys I make and taylor. The daydreams and storys are based around marvel and I jst...I'm hating myself so much know it feels like I have everything some ppl ik want but it feels like everything that is mine isn't. There are times where I want to run away, times where I just wish the mcu was real and times where I feel like I'm 15 or 16 instead of 12. There's litarlly only one person I trust now. I'm rlly sorry for anyone going through anything simillar. I'd say ik how it feels but that never helps (at least in my experience).
yes that is me in the photo - it was the 1st photo that came up so... UPDATE: LITRALLY 5 MINUTES AFTER I POST THIS TEACHER SAYS WE HAVE SPANISH TEST DAY BEFORE MY BDAY HELP ME I AM CRASHING OUT RN also now it feels like I'm 19 help it's only been 1 month since i said it feels like i'm 15/16...