1:77 rant-2

Instructions

I genually don't get life why is it that i'm the one everyone in my class hat3s???? it's so annoying how i'm constantly trying with anxeity + sleeping disorder + dyslexia + year 8 hw + my bros. I know ppl have it worse then me but i made a project like a month or so ago + it was due 3rd lesson tdy. In form time I decided to completly re do the WHOLE thing like right from scratch bc before schl someone was like ur not gonna get graded. Then I have 2 bros and a family gc. Everyday I try my hardest in litrally everything and when I try to rest or relax I'm told 'Amelia you need to do something don't just sit there/ watch tv/ go on your phone' so then I do work and I'm told it's not good enough. Like it's genuanlly so annoying like give me a break!!! And they always parise my lil bros but they rarely praise me. Then tdy I was litrally arguing with my teacher saying give us more time cuz I have 2 challange tasks + 2 tests. Then at night I can't sleep so I jst stare at the celling and think about life and end up procassinating. Then 1 of my perants threaten to take away my headphones 'beacuse I have attitude + am sarcastic'. honestly if i didn't have my headphones I'd be way worse rn. then at schl ppl tell me 2 stop using my phone (ppl in my class) like i use my phone to a) listen 2 and change music b) write a book + c) go on p!ntr35t. I'm so upset rn bc I barley rember my life when it was less work + less well whatever it is rn. another rant (written 1mnth ago on my alts)--- Hi guys for the rant look here: I'm genraly scared, I no longer know who to trust and who not to. At school most of my form/ class hates me.They give me so many exams. I know other ppl have it worse but it feels like the only friend group where I acc fit in is in another class. At home I keep on having to mask and restraint myself from the real me. It feels like all my best friends are online. I have too many secrets and no longer know the REAL me. The only life I acc know is the daydreams I escape to the ones that will never come true. I can't even cry anymore bc when I do I get panic attacks and there are times where I actaually start hating my self. I told one of my friends part of this and she said to live for marvel, star wars and taylor. Honestly, idk if I even want 2 anymore the only reason I've not gone completely overdrive is bc of my 'daydreams' , storys I make and taylor. The daydreams and storys are based around marvel and I jst...I'm hating myself so much know it feels like I have everything some ppl ik want but it feels like everything that is mine isn't. There are times where I want to run away, times where I just wish the mcu was real and times where I feel like I'm 15 or 16 instead of 12. There's litarlly only one person I trust now. I'm rlly sorry for anyone going through anything simillar. I'd say ik how it feels but that never helps (at least in my experience).