Ch 9.5 - Friday: I arrived at the youth group and frowned. Ethan wasn't here? Why wasn't he here? My mind instantly started panicking. If he wasn't here before me, would he be coming at all? Would all my preparations be for nothing for another month? 'MARY!' Joy screamed, almost unintelligibly. I turned and jumped as I saw her barrelling towards me. 'JOY!' We walked into the building and I looked around. Ethan wasn't inside either. We sat down and started talking. 'Joy?' I whispered. 'I have a crush.' Her mouth opened slightly. 'Guess who it is' 'Who?' She asked. 'Ethan.' She slammed the end of her scarf on the table. 'You traitor. The boys at our school are no good.' I laughed. 'I'm gonna ask to be friends, and get contacts.' 'Okay everybody!' One of the coordinators said. 'I'll just explain what we'll be doing tonight.' I glanced at the door, where a group of kids was just arriving. I looked away quickly and stared at Joy. 'He's here!' She looked at him, then at me. She patted my arm. 'It'll be alright.' I watched as he approached to sit in the row of seats behind me, then I froze. My muscles didn't wanna move, I just started straight ahead as he sat down behind my row. I whimpered slightly. 'I don't know if I can do it. Maybe I won't talk to him tonight.' Every so often, I would glance at Ethan, and look away quickly. I knew that I would go all weird and awkward in person. When it was time to grab something to eat, I sat next to Joy and started eating my food. I glanced up and realised I had a clear view of Ethan between my friends, Clare and Bella. I tried to look casual as I looked at Ethan at the table in front of me. After a while, Bella stopped talking to Clare and looked at me from across the table and smiled. I was still looking at Ethan, but out of my peripheral vision, I saw her. I turned to her and tried to ask casually, 'What?' 'Who are you looking at?' Her smile widened and she glanced back. Clare looked at me and smiled too, I must have been blushing. 'Hmm?' I asked, pretending not to have heard. 'Do you have a crush on Ethan?' Bella asked, I hadn't even known she knew his name. I tried to look normal, but I glanced at him again and covered my face. 'Yeah.' I groaned, muffled by my jumper sleeves. 'It's okay.' I heard Bella say kindly, maybe even a bit quieter. 'I won't tell anyone.' We were separated into smaller groups to do discussions, but I couldn't help looking at Ethan from across the room. I had a clear view of him sitting at another group table. I was only half listening, but I heard someone in my group mention Ethan's family and I zoned back in. He and his family sang and played many instruments, but I was wondering why my group mentioned them. I looked at Joy, hoping she'd give me a hint as to why they did, but all I found was her looking at him. 'I know one person from that family.' Then she turned to see what I was doing. I was zoning out again, looking at him. Near the end of the night, we all were going to play a game where all but one person were sitting on chairs in a tight circle. There was one empty seat, where the person in the middle needed to sit in, but all the other people on the chairs had to move from seat to seat in a chain of movement to stop the person in the middle getting a seat. I ended up being one of the people in the middle, and all I wanted to do was sit next to Ethan. I decided to be brave and try sitting next to Ethan. But the other boys around him moved into the empty space too quickly and I ended up sitting next to Joy again. After a few more people, Ethan was chosen to be the one in the middle. I looked at Joy who was smiling evilly. 'Please tell me you're going to do what I think you're planning to do?' I said nervously, but excited. She turned to me and smiled, but said nothing. Unfortunately, Ethan sat down almost exactly where he had started, as one of the boys near him was distracted and Ethan sat there. We were all leaving the building to find our parents, I was looking across the sea of people when I caught sight of Ethan. I was leaning against a column next to the door, with Joy standing next to me, and Ethan was leaning against the column on the other side of the doorway. My eyes widened as I realised he was so close without me noticing. I turned to Joy and said, 'Should I do it?' She looked at him, 'Yes! Go do it now.' 'But what should I say?' I said frantically. 'JUST SMILE.' She tried shoving me forward, but I wouldn't, no my legs wouldn't budge. 'You're as bad as Mellie.' I said, rolling my eyes. 'ETHAN! She called, and before I realised what was going on, Ethan turned. 'Nice jumper. What is it?' 'It's um,' He seemed surprised when she shouted at him. 'It's Fully Quivering.' He traced his finger under the very obvious words on the front of it. 'Cool! Where'd you get it?' He pointed somewhere off in the distance. 'I got it at a thing....' 'Nice!' She turned back to me and smiled. He glanced at
her and me, trying to figure out if the interaction was over, then turned away. He started walking up and away from the crowd and I thought that might make me less nervous. My friend Penny came over as I told Joy I would do it. 'Are you going to tell Penny?' Joy asked. Penny looked at me and said, 'I can read a room. I'm pretty sure I know what's happening. I groaned and walked through the crowd. I saw Ethan lean against a rail on the side of a ramp and stand there waiting for his dad to arrive. My heart was pounding harder than ever, my dad was here too, which would make this interaction so great. As I said, my family did not know I had this crush and I didn't want them to know, especially not one of my brothers. But this was my last chance for a month, so I started walking over to Ethan. He saw me coming over and waved a little, I waved back. *Wouldn't it be terrible if your voice didn't work?* My brain said. I ignored it and said, 'Hey Ethan, how are you?' I cringed, nothing seemed right, everything about talking to him was stressful. 'Pretty good and you?' He replied. I glanced at him as I went to stand next to him. 'Oh, I'm okay.' *NOW.* My brain screamed. *JUST DO IT.* 'Um, I know we haven't talked in a while, and this is a kinda weird request....' *DO. IT. NOW.* 'Could we be friends?' *Yeah, that's super dumb. Who would say yes to you if you say it like that?* 'Okay, sure!' He said, with a smile. I loved that smile, I could think of it and even if I was feeling sad, it could make me smile too. 'Could I get contacts please?' I went to grab my notebook to show mine, when he went. 'Oh, I don't have a phone.' *WELL NEITHER DOES SHE DUDE, NO BIG DEAL.* 'How about an email address?' I said, still trying to get my book out from under my jumper. Before I could show him my email, he told me his. I tried to write his email, but my hands decided that they wanted to shake too much to write legibly. I bit my lip and began trying to write his last name, but my mind blanked. *How do you spell it?* I asked my brain. *I dunno. Ask Ethan.* I looked at him and tried to steady my voice, 'I forgot how to write your last name.' 'I can write it.' He put out his hands to take the book and I passed it over quickly. I tried to smile, but my hands were still shaking and I looked down at them in shock. Ethan passed me the notebook and pen back and I smiled. I was putting the book and pen back into my bag when he looked down at the crowd and said, 'Sorry, I gotta go now. Bye.' I looked up quickly and smiled, a genuine one that had come automatically. 'No, that's alright. See you later.' I looked at Joy and Penny, down near the crowd. The automatic smile I had given Ethan slipped into a nervous grimace. Joy looked at me expectantly and I put my thumbs up. She ran up the ramp towards me. 'How'd it go?' She asked. 'I got his email.' 'YES!' [Might add a bit more to the end] (I might make more chapters, but I won't do it as often.)
