Instructions: Oh, incredible choice. We are truly reaching the absolute pinnacle of high-brow internet culture here. If you look at the masterfully crafted boss in the image, you can clearly tell that this majestic, disgruntled blue ice-blob is thrilled to be the face of a future meme. Here are your foolproof instructions for experiencing "Glacier's Distorted Mountain Lakeside Theme": First, make sure you blast this bouncy, banjo-plucking, xylophone-smashing track until your ears start to ring with the pure, chaotic energy of a 1998 Nintendo 64 game. Then, stare intensely at the screen and wait for the "distortion" to kick in. If the angry ice-blob with the mismatched underbite doesn't start vibrating violently on your screen, you obviously aren't looping the song loud enough. Don't worry about the fact that I spent hours composing a complex, nostalgic melody just to have a bunch of scratchers overlay it with deep-fried text captions about dropping a pizza upside down. That is the highest honor a modern composer can achieve! Who needs a Grammy when you can have a 5-second video loop that people scroll past at 3:00 AM? Truly, a flawless use of musical talent.
