heh. Wow, its been a long time since ive used this site and this may be my last time using this site lol I just kinda figured i should make a little something cuz i kinda vanished so suddenly like almost 2 years ago with little to no explanation No i didnt die, i kinda just... moved? ok theres a long story to this Get ready for long ahh rant sesh Basically i was friends with a few folks in my sophomore year One of whom is somebody ive had various problems with in the past, but ended up being friends with that year, who we'll refer to as A The other is somebody who we were both friends with at the time, we'll call him D Before our sophomore year ended, we were all decent friends with each other, and then summer came around and for some reason, a switch flipped I came home from my aunts house to check my Scratch notifications, and saw that D had made a thread of comments on my profile and a few studios i was in, "calling me out" on my behavior, which you've probably been able to find in old studios i was in or on my profile before i deleted it which all of it was very much heavily influenced by how A viewed how i behaved, which D really wasn't there to witness how A and i interacted in the past? So he really had no reason to try and intervene and make a callout post on A's behalf and it was a lot of personal issues that could very much be solved OUTSIDE of scratch that just for some reason Wasnt and ill be honest it hurt very very much so lets go thru and clear up things that that callout thread said about me!!! yay!!! - "libby was harrassing A via email" no, back in 8th grade i was upset about not being helpful in a partner project so i reached out to him saying "hey im sorry for being quiet and unhelpful ill do better tomorrow" and his response was a 12 paragraph essay about all the reasons why i sucked as a friend, which really really hurt so i decided to distance from him cuz clearly he needed space and i was not a worthy friend for him we ended up both being in the same musical together so i reached out to him saying "can we at least act civil during the musical" and he responded saying that *I* was the one avoiding *HIM* and that *HES* COMPLETELY open to trying to reconcile but *I* was being a [meanie] and avoiding problems *I* need to be held accountable for (he wasnt reaching out to me either and everytime i reached out to him he was mean to me) Which made me realize even more that our friendship might be doomed so i didnt try to reconcile the friendship (at least not that year) So no, i wasnt harrassing him, if anything he was harrassing me - "libby shared projects venting about it instead of keeping it private" ok yeah i did do this, but man i was young and sad and i couldnt really talk about most of these matters with my friend group at the time so what else was i supposed to do but after the callout thread was made i did delete the descriptions from most of the projects where i vented about anything i was going through with him out of respect, im a grown mature adult and i have better friends now that i can Actually vent to without fear of ridicule i wasnt ever trying to seek for attention, i was gen just sad and didnt know what else to do - "libby has openly deadnamed A" A is a transgender man, and ive only ever referred to him as his preferred name, except for one single time, which ill admit was still pretty bad, however ive had my trans friends assure me its not that bad, so maybe im just going crazy idk Basically im my sophomore year he made a joke abt how his deadname was very common, and that in the yearbook they labeled a photo with the wrong person who shared the same name as his deadname and i made a joke saying "yeah they got him confused for another [deadname] lol" Which at the time i didnt think was bad, cuz his deadname was VERY public, like on playbills or yearbooks and whatnot but he was HORRIFIED and ran away and hid in the bathroom to cry To which i felt HORRIBLE, i thought it was just a funny joke on my end but i quickly realized i overstepped boundaries and i made him upset, and i last time i messed up THAT badly he would avoid me and our friendship would end again we had JUST started rekindling it that year and i really didnt wanna lose it again, and i began to cry myself A's gf at the time helped comsole me and got A and i to talk to each other, and i apologized profusely for saying his deadname, and he apologized for making it a bigger deal than it was And it seemed like everything was all well and good and we were all friends again :) i mean that is until D made a callout post that insisted i was transphobic over the summer of that same year - "libby has an insane victim complex" no i just cry when im sad, i dont do it for attention, it just kinda happens Im not trying to get people to feel bad for me, i just start crying is all :sob: Desc is too long so im movin to notes and credits now lol
(...continued) After seeing the callout thread, i reached out to both D and A to figure out why they were doing this, and they responded very vaguely about how this is what i deserved, that i sucked as a person and the whole of the internet (or at least, my three thousand scratch followers) needed to know how "evil" i am which i quickly realized it was all worthless petty drama, so i tried to move on I deleted D's thread from my profile, i gave a vague thread to give reasoning behind the false claims, i tried to upload more projects (even tho at the time i was VERY locked in on artfight), i avoided interacting with A and D, and i tried to ignore it all but gradually more people tried making callouts against me, all people who were people who knew A and D irl (one of which made a project against me, and was speaking like they were an expert, but ive never met them in my life! I genuinely dont know who that was!!! What!!) and someone who claimed to be A's 8 year old cousin who would also give reasons as to why i was a bad person (but the cousin's speaking patterns didnt look like an 8 year old's... i think that was A's alt account...) people i didnt know kept coming into my projects to talk about how bad i am, slandering me, making fun of me, essentially bullying me, and everytime i opened up the website i felt a huge wave of anxiety, which even still continues to this day, im actively shaking typing all this btw lol eventually i realized i had to put scratch down for a bit i went on a very impromptu hiatus, hoping that id eventually return to it after i stopped feeling anxious and when the harrassment died down I didnt tell anyone that i was still very active on Tumblr, cuz i didnt want any of the people harrassing me to follow me there and harrass me there too but eventually i didnt have a reason to return to scratch In my junior year, i was a huge smg4 fan (rip :pensive:) and was very prominently posting in the smg4 tumblr community, and i eventually joined a server full of the same tumblr community and everyone was so nice and welcomed me with open arms and i felt very safe there and had fun with my ocs without people harrassing me Eventually i became close enough friends to them that i could open up to them about my experiences, and told them about my old scratch situations, and they felt bad for me and consoled me, helping me work through it emotionally and i realized i didnt need scratch scratch was a great beginning, but i didnt feel like i was in a community, i just felt like i was making things but on tumblr i was surrounded by people who didnt just love my work, but they also loved me as a person Crazy how it took my until i was 17 for me to realize just how valuable friendship is, huh? Anyway, im 18 now! Almost 19! I havent touched this place in years! Why am i sharing this now? Well, i just kinda wanted to let yall know what im up to. I keep getting a lot of people finding me out in the wild on Tumblr or YT and being surprised that im actually alive, and well, surprise, i never died i just moved lol I feel a lot more like im in a safer environment to freely talk about my experiences, both online with my Tumblr friends and in person, because i discovered in my senior year, right before i graduated, that i wasnt the only one who hated A D is not even friends with A anymore, and he and I actually became friends again A, meanwhile, has not grown and changed into a better person, instead harrassing and bullying more of my friends and abusing the ones that he successfully gets into relationships with, to the point that now hes driven most people away from him Im finally in a safe environment full of friends and people who are good people. And plus, I graduated! I never have to see A again! Scratch was fun, i learned a lot, but not i gotta officially come right out and say that im putting it down for good. I figured you guys deserved a proper address and goodbye. Thank you for all the love since 2020. This place has truly helped me find my footing before i could truly walk. Thanks for enjoying my stuff, even if i havent posted here in years. You guys truly were amazing. I still post stuff on Tumblr and YT under @/libbytwq , and now that i dont live in fear of getting bullied, i can freely advertise it. But as for Scratch, this is my last project. Thanks for all the memories. Love yall. Goodbye, Scratch. ♡ Libby
