(notice ; i didn’t have the time to use a forum so i am instead using the instructions & n&c’s for my application. it is inevitable that I will run out of room, so I will be continuing in the comments. i will be updating this application frequently, and i will mark my application as ‘complete’ when it is finished.) ❝ a stranger to strangers over undried seas, houses for fishes, suffocating water, or lonely on fell as chat, by pot-holed becks a bird stone-haunting, an unquiet bird.❞ - w.h. auden ⊱┊ : siren’s curse (born to love, or to be loved) : - a sonatakit application. “looks can be deceiving. and smiles do not always hold meaning. yet we fear what feels off; we fear what we cannot see. we fear what is new. we dread the unknown. ..I do not understand why we fear what we crave; the unknown.. is simply another word for discoverable. ..the unknown is another word for adventure.” section i. the shore user ; @quilliamjuicing (for emergency contact only; @grapefruity or @-quillow- ) about me: hello! thank you for taking your time to visit my simple little application. my name is quills (quilliam for formality), and i’ve been around on scratch for a very, very long time. if you recognize my name, it’s most likely because you’ve read my (quietly discontinued) comic titled “willow walkers.” but there’s more to me than a silly project created by 13 year old me! i’m less online than I used to be; i spend most of my time studying and working on personal art projects- I’m a digital artist who specializes in feral and anthro animals! however I do like to experiment with humanoids. i am currently preparing for artfight, and working on scripting my next (better) offsite comic! current fandom list ; smiling friends, jjk, wha, mdfn, assas class, st, bj, invincible, dgr, ps3,4,5. section ii. the shallows “and in the unknown, what awaits us is plentiful possibility! you don’t know what is in a clam until you break it open!~ and if we dare to explore, the more we learn- we grow. clams may hold pearls; or nothing at all. but it is up to you to discover what lies beyond the surface. ..it is.. up to you to take a chance on the uncertain. ..take a chance on me.” kit i’m applying for ; sonatakit (note; i like to use the pronouns for the agab when writing my kit applications, and therefore sonatakit will be explicitly described as she/her.) kit (future) sexuality and gender ; sonata’s gender is something that would be changing with the tides; fluid and graceful; although she’d lean far more towards the presentation of feminine or gender-neutral and less towards masculine qualities. she would be possibly interchanging between she/they/vey pronouns. (paragirl; I’d like to say she’s 80% female and 20% androgynous/enby when it comes to gender identity.) as for romance, she wouldn’t care much about what gender the other cat may be (perhaps sporting interest in multiple cats at once (curious/open to polyamory)); but she’d like to get to know a cat first. (demiromantic.) .personality simplified ; (+) gentle, observant, empathetic, forgiving, caring, solicitous. (=) self-sufficient, placid, obedient, quiet, conciliatory. (-) weak-willed, fearful, people-pleasing, yielding, clumsy. detailed ; the paragon to the legacy of heartbreakhaven; a cat who takes great honor being the daughter of the deputy- although her sheltered upbringing take a toll off her personal development- and making sonatakit unsure of her own identity. despite her unsettling stare and her hardened demeanor- what she refers to as her ‘siren’s curse’- sonata is the exact opposite of what she appears to be. ‘looks can be deceiving’ certainly rings true. she is raised to see the world as one free from tragedy or death; making sonatakit trust too far in the kindness of the world. she instead contributes to that kindness by making sure that everyone and everything feels loved; giving needless generosity and always giving comfort to those who need it- making her believe that her entire purpose is to be someone who loves, and makes sure that everyone receives that love- making the world a perfect place in turn. she develops a doughy and yielding behavior because of this; she backs down when requested- she doesn’t push her opinions and is fine to fall back into the shadows- staying quiet about most things and never having much courage to speak out; weak-willed and too fearful of being disliked or disrespectful to others. yet her behavior itself comes from a true place of caring, and she has a higher emotional qualm than most. she seeks to be a comforting presence; often being empathetic to the emotions of others, and always staying true to the idea of second chances and redemption- believing fully that it’s part of her own legacy as to be the savior to some cats redemption- and possibly believing that she is the redemption for her mother. and with a far more naive look at the world; when most of everything is hidden from you- (continued in n&c)
sonata is clumsy and flimsy with not only her legs, but as well as her promises and efforts to trust- she only seeks reliance on those she knows that she has no choice but to trust; her family. out of everyone she knows, her family is the one thing she can trust. the one thing that continues to stand true is the meaning behind words- she speaks the truth, and always tries to make sure that they mean something to her; often expressing her deeper feelings or thoughts in between them. she will never bring herself to lie, and out of everything- she never wants to break the hearts of those she loves. after all, that’s what she’s meant to be- a reflection of a family that has a grounded legacy- and be a bridge between responsibility and clan trust. but the sheltered life only makes the feeling of fear far more difficult to overcome. what is new is dreaded- and sonata cannot brave difficult hurdles because of a deep paranoia of failure- and being forgotten. (A part of her reasoning for feeling incomplete is caused by an internal fear of failing as well; she doesn’t feel entirely worthy of being a daughter of her mother, and her clumsiness with words and actions makes her feel that she’s eventually doomed to fail.) though she’ll always try to radiate brilliance and courage- sonata is a coward. but a well-meaning one, at least. “.. i don’t think i know myself much at all. i try to be a dazzling part of your sea- but i.. .. ..if i don’t know who i am, no one will bother to know me. i feel like that is all that i am. a.. question. to myself. ..i want to make sure someone is proud of me; but.. how can i do that if i’m not proud of.. myself.” section iii. the depths rp example ; (completed in comments) trivia: theme songs/inspirations: .malibu pier - tlt .my play - ajr .lovers - kiltro .dear pet rock - tv room .mannerisms ⌑ sonatakit speaks almost at an aristocratic level; she puts heavy consideration into her words- somewhat driven by the ideal of making each of her words unique to the world; tending to associate her manner of phrases and vocabulary with that of poems, and often speaking with a melodious tone moved by a self-taught tempo (she tends to speak quickly, but will pause often- she dreads speaking incorrectly or crudely.) (tbc in comments) “..we assume the worst of the unknown because we loathe the worst possible outcome. thus why the unknown is avoided. and so- that is why i deserve to be avoided. like a clam; i don’t.. expose what is underdeveloped. my shell is all i have to offer. …i fear i have no pearl. ..yet if you’d let me- I’d be willing to stay my your side, if you’d stay by mine. ..maybe then, the unknown would be discovered. and i.. would be whole.” section iv. the seafloor dynamic(s) with her family ; heartbreakhaven - the way sonata acts is a reflection off of her mother and not herself- sonata is raised isolated in innocence and her world is built off of gentle lies made to protect her; which only results in her innocence hurting her- and sonatakit begins to feel incomplete as an individual. her personality feels shallow and confusing- yet sonata develops her own fear to discover more about who she wants to be, because she dreads that she will pull her mother away from her. so sonatakit does not try to grow from her mistakes- out of the fear that she will lose heartbreakhaven. sonata would be obedient and respondent to her mother; never refusing an order nor speaking out from her. sonata would live up to the expectations of being behaved and clingy- as she dreads the idea of being forgotten by heartbreakhaven rather than sonata leaving her. so she forces herself to stay hopelessly attached to her mother; always trying to be a good, hopeful daughter. she doesn’t feel judged nor pushed away from her; so she’ll constantly find herself falling to heartbreakhaven- the cat who built her world, and therefore being the only cat that sonata can’t live without. and with her being hopelessly attached to her mother, sonata becomes afraid to try to explore- to find herself- and she reverts to being a clingy, fearful cat. that in mind- sonata would treat her mother with respect and see her as her deputy more than an actual figure to follow. never a rolemodel; and thus the reason for why she develops few shared ideals with her. sonata has to be completely dependent on herself to growth. however, she would be kind to her mother. she would always tell her what she wants to hear rather than the truth. the one that always confirms that she was never in the wrong, but the other party was. she would never argue with her. a perfect daughter who is seemingly only there to support her mother by any means possible. sonata would only refer to her as mother or heartbreakhaven. she seeks to bring honor to her family- and she seeks to follow in her mother’s pawsteps by building a legacy of honor and respect; while avoiding any path to end up just like her. (tbc in comments)
