click or space the last image is a recreation from memory if the text below may repeat a few things or sound insane because I was writing it as I recalled what happened and also going through a lot of emotions as I was writing
Something that my friend AK6 said to me reminded me about my past that has really been bothering me ever since and I can't stop thinking about. In 2021-2025 (I think) I used to play Roblox a lot before everything happened to it and I used to OD a lot (online date). I have had many relationships that only lasted a couple weeks and maybe a month or two, but in 2025 when I started playing this game called The Cool Zone, I had met two people, one named Jester and the other I had forgotten the name of due to time. We met at a PVP arena that I had made, and we all had a great time talking with each other and we all became friends, that's how I wish it had ended. But after only minutes of being friends, the other guy had shown their true colors (he was freaky). Me back then not knowing any better and being a little freaky myself went along with it and so did Jester, making us a three-way relationship (I believe that's the correct term). The other guy would constantly do weird roleplays with us enacting his fantasies with me too stupid to realize the actions I were partaking in were weird. In short, I was a willing victim of exploitation too dumb (or into it) to realize that I was being exploited. He was violent and overly freaky, and I hated him for that. Yet somehow, I became that exact person I hated because of the things he did to me, it shaped my future self to who I am now. I had liked Jester over the other guy for obvious reasons because he was in the same boat as me, it was love, not for the other guy but for Jester. Jester was a lot like me and yet not me at all, also just going along with the other guy's demands although I think he was doing it willingly and knew what he was doing. Jester was sweet and kind to specifically me, and was I admit, kinda hot. And funny enough, AK reminds me of Jester, also being kind and sweet and admittedly kinda hot. And something about that just makes me sad. I could have ditched the other guy and been with Jester for the rest of my days, instead I didn't and now they both are just dead accounts, meaning I will never find someone just like me who went through the same experiences as I did, someone that I actually loved, not the fake love the other guy had. I was reminded of what I used to do, and now I lament who I was back then and yet long to be who I was back then. I want to go back to that lady killer version of myself so much, but I also never want to be that version of myself again, and that just makes me feel depressed. I guess is what I want to say is that I want to feel like I'm loved again and be in a relationship with someone else. Thank you, AK And yes, that is actually what I think about you
