"Serendipity" — as the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it — is "the ability to find valuable or agreeable things not sought for" or "luck that takes the form of such finding." ~ Soulfaith hadn’t had many intentions for his day. He had woken up. He had considered feather collecting for a moment. And yet, for some reason, he didn’t quite want to. He sat there in his nest for a while, staring at the ceiling of his den. Sharkie was in the nest next to him (Soulfaith had set up Sharkie his own nest) and his cloak, along with Albie’s blanket hung from a nearby root. Soulfaith inhaled quietly, then sighed. Well, he couldn’t just stay there and allow the day to rot away. Souflaith stood up, pulling himself from his nest. Not much to do, he thought as he walked along the beach. The day had crawled by unimaginably slowly. Soulfaith had hunted. He had brought home a jackalope. He had gone out searching for a nice surfing spot. He had returned home unsuccessful. Soulfaith didn’t like days like this. Days so boring he had nothing to do but ponder. He hummed softly, sitting down on the shoreline, staring out into the ocean. The sun was setting. The water’s reflection fractured the azure of the sky. Soulfaith stared out into that sea, thoughtfully pondering what lay just beyond the horizon. Somewhere out there was the land of Kili’s birth, a place where Toki Pona originated from. Somewhere out there, there was probably a place where Soulfaith wasn’t a loner, where Soulfaith was a cat just like any other. But Soulfaith wasn’t in that place. He was here. Was it nightfall already? Stars, Soulfaith had blinked and suddenly the sunset was gone. He looked up, seeming faintly distracted by… something. The stars were bright tonight. More and more popped into sight as the sun sank further and further beneath the horizon, as the moon’s silhouette became clearer and clearer. THe rage of the sun had dwindled, and now, the calm of the night was all that was left. Soulfaith glanced down at his paws. The tide had brought the water up to his paws… he smiled slightly. “suno pi kule mute.” His eyepatch suddenly glowed to life, but it wasn’t its usual single color. After all, the light of all colors didn’t remain simple. Like a prism caught in the rays of the sun, Soulfaith’s eyepatch cast every color of the rainbow across the sea. Flickering between each, sometimes holding multiple at once. Soulfaith exhaled slowly. It was a nice time to relax– *If this is the part you decide to play, then I will play mine.* *Well! You should get compliments more often, you seem like a fine cat.* *I suppose the love will always find a way.* Stars. Soulfaith winced as the voices slashed through his peace. This was why he couldn’t take breaks… Soulfaith opened his eye again, not even having realized it had drifted shut. The rainbow iridescence still scattered across the water. So many voices, all seeming to be vying for the most important spot in Soulfaith’s mind. One paw over Falconclan’s border and he knew that Wildfirelament wouldn’t allow him peace. And yet, a cat who he felt was… special…? Yes, a cat he felt was special resided on the wrong side of that border. Soulfaith shook his head slightly. Starclan wouldn’t cut him a break, would they? Soulfaith glanced up towards the stars. The whole of the galaxy was spread out above him, dancing in the glow of his rainbow eyepatch. Tiger-lilytwinkle. Soulfaith smiled slightly at the thought of her. Sweet. Kind. Funny. A little bit hard to say goodbye to. Soulfaith shook his head. Stars, he was struck by her. And yet, his own little crush was forbidden. Wildfirelament would rip Soulfaith’s pelt from his body if he breathed over the border, Soulfaith was a little scared of what might happen if Wildfirelament could peek into his heart and find all of Soulfaith’s bubbly feelings. Unfortunately for Soulfaith, he doubted that Wildfirelament would be endeared. Soulfaith raised a paw, brushing it across his scarred eye. Hopefully his other wouldn’t join it. Focus, Soulfaith, and breathe. Soulfaith inhaled softly, following it with a measured exhale. It didn’t even matter, he told himself. You can feel fondly to her all you like, you can imagine scenarios all you like, but she doesn’t like you back. You don’t even /like/ her, do you, the sourest voice of them all spoke. This is just some selfish search for affection from any cat you can get it from. Soulfaith quickly forced that voice to be quiet. Love came in all forms, including the ones where it wasn’t really love. Soulfaith glanced up. The stars were still bright. Bright for him, bright for the whole island. Starclan hadn’t forsaken him, right…?
Soulfaith slowly laid down against the sand, allowing his mind to drift. Maybe just this once, he didn’t need to be so on guard. Maybe he didn’t need to be so afraid. Soulfaith gently took his eyepatch and pulled it off of his eye, staring out into the darkness. The blurriness of his eye didn’t matter in a world so dark and lonely. Soulfaith swept his tail, wrapping it tightly around his paw. They never understand, he reminded himself, not realizing that his consoling was only making it worse. No matter how hard you try to explain… they still end up leaving. *Shine, shine, o star in the night,* Soulfaith paused as a distant echo came back to him, a gentle knock against his head. Soulfaith’s breathing came heavier. What came next, oh, please, Soulfaith, remember what came next. *Guide my path with your gentle light.* Soulfaith’s breathing was a little ragged now, his eyes becoming choked up. He knew this song. He knew this lullaby. Why did it come back to him on a night like this, why did such a sacred memory rise in such a turbulent time?! *I wish I knew what lay ahead of me,* Stars, Soulfaith did. A war, both between clans and in his heart. Soulfaith understood that line with new meaning. Where was this all coming from…? *I wish I saw all there was to see.* Of course he did. Wasn’t that exactly what he told Wildfirelament? He just wanted to see the world for all it had? Soulfaith’s tears fell faster now. His heartbeat sped up a little. Yet, Soulfaith begged his mind not to stop as he scrounged for what he could still remember. *But even if I never know, The place that you want me to go,* Oh, no, no, Momma, Soulfaith thought desperately. I never wanted you to go at all. Please, please, come back. I need you now, more than ever before, I need someone like you. Soulfaith’s claws flexed, tearing the sand beneath him. *I’ll travel strong, I’ll stand up true,* Soulfaith winced. Oh, he was such a terrible, terrible tom. He lied. He cheated. He broke laws and traditions just to get his way, and now he was willing to do it all again. Soulfaith sobbed softly, cursing his name, cursing himself for what he had done. Cursing the fact that, even if he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t stop. Through muffled sobs and tears, Soulfaith muttered the last line. “I’ll fight the world, I’ll do it all for you.” Soulfaith’s sobs grew in intensity as he crumpled on his knees, his posture abandoning him as he fell over into the sand. She would’ve given it all away to see Soulfaith smile. And yet here he was, broken, beaten down by his own guilt and crime. Soulfaith wept, he didn’t even try to hide it. He didn’t like to sob in such an ugly way, but here, in the silence of the night, with the light of the moon and his own birthright, it felt a little less wrong. He stayed there for a long time. Where would he go from here? He had never meant to have this moment. He had come out here to quietly watch the waves and allow the day to slip away. His serendipity had betrayed him, bringing a lot more than a quiet evening to his mind. Soulfaith’s claws clenched against the sand. So many choices. He could pursue Tiger-lilytwinkle and run the risk of heartbreak. He could face down his trespassing habits and learn to accept the suffocating loneliness of the desert. He could hide away in the depths of his den, become a recluse if he really wanted to. So many things he could do… Yet, he was trying to do them all alone. Soulfaith stared at his paws, feeling wracked with guilt. Kili wouldn’t have wanted this. Momma wouldn’t have wanted this. Sharktooth wouldn’t have wanted this. Soulfaith was nothing but a charlatan, an actor who bore the name of so many others, but failed to live up to their expectations. He didn’t have to be perfect, he knew that… Yet couldn’t he try to get a little bit closer? ~ As used in a sentence – “Meeting you was the greatest show of serendipity that I could have ever hoped for.”
