Chapter 1: Tyler I get back home from the council meeting, my head spinning in circles. Khadija had a really good argument about why we should build a monument in our honor, but Jake agrued against it, saying it was too soon to tell whether our rebellion here would reverberate across all of the Sanctions. Hafsa, Miriam, and I agreed with Jake, while Samirah and Tim agreed with Khadija. Kaylani proposed a compromise where we would build a small one to honor the resistance movement, and all the people we lost along the way, and build bigger ones across the Sanctions after the Overthrow has been overthrown. We were dismissed, and Kaylani left immediately, probably wanting to process away from everyone else. She tried not to show it, but she's struggling to keep this ship afloat. Our resources are diminishing, foreign aid is out of the picture, and the other resistance movements we had contact with before we staged our rebellion a month ago have gone back underground. Not to mention the fact that she's trying to convert me to Islam. I wish I could just pretend to be Muslim for her, but she's told me too many times that's not the way it works. "You have to feel it in your heart," she said after the 10th time. "It's not something you can fake." So I try. She teaches me about all 25 Prophets, about the people who were punished for their hypocrisy and disbelief, even tries to teach me to read and memorize Arabic (I'm not so god at this part). The deep bags under her eyes set wrinkles into her chocolate brown skin and it k1lls me to see her like this. Before I know it, I'm at the threshold of her door. Before I even knock, she says, "Hey, Tyler," in a defeated tone. I open the door and walk into her room, sit next to her on her bed. "Hey there sunshine," I say. "How's it going?" She scoots closer and lays her head on my shoulder. "It's fine." When we first became friends, she told me how her mom used to hide her issues until the word 'fine' so I knew she wasn't just 'fine.' "Is it the council meeting? You know, I think your idea is really grea-" "IT'S NOT JUST THE COUNCIL MEETING!" she snaps, her anger breaking through the surface. A tear streams down her cheek as she continues her tirade. "RULING IS HARD! KHADIJA IS ALWAYS SO DIFFICULT! I DON'T KNOW THE NEXT TIME WE MIGHT BE UNDER ATTACK! AND WHILE WE GET TO EAT ALL THE GOOD FOOD AND HAVE COMFORTABLE BEDS, REGUAR PEOPLE ARE STILL WORKING TO MAKE ENDS MEET AND I--AND IT JUST--" She's ugly crying now, tears streaking down her face in earnest. I rub her back and let her cry it out. She has always had anger issues, and, although I try to help calm her down like her mom used to do, it's clear she needs a real therapist. There just hasn't been time or money or one actually available. "It's okay, Kaylani," I say. "It's okay." "I j-just thought it would be easier than this," she says, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. "I thought we would be able to make big changes, you know?" "I know," I reply. Then, before I can stop myself or think through the consequences, I press a ktss to her temple. Her eyes widen as she looks up at me. I swallow, hard. The only other time we ktssed was a few months ago, when she ktssed me on the cheek after a particularly tough day. I hope my impulsiveness didn't just mess us up insanely badly. Chapter 2: Kaylani The place on my forehead where Tyler just ktssed me seems to burn straight into my skull. My heart starts beating really fast. My thoughts become so muddled, the only thing I can think of is how much I love this guy. Tyler. The spoiled brat with a foul mouth I met in a prison, the one who stood by me in everything that we went through, the one who held me for hours when my dad was executed, the one who is trying to be Muslim for my sake. Before I know what I'm doing, I cup his cheeks with my hands and ktss him on the lips. He ktsses back, and we stay like that for a few seconds before I finally pull away. We stare at each other, both of us equally shell-shocked. I am not usually one for spontaneity, even our first ktss was carefully planned, and this unsettles me even more. But, for the moment, I enjoy it. I'll ask Allah for forgiveness later, and when Tyler becomes Muslim and we go for hajj, inshallah all will be forgiven. Suddenly, the loudspeaker bell rings for tea. Tyler jumps at the sound, which brings us both back to our senses. "Should we-" Tyler starts. "NO," I interrupt, sharper than I intended. "Sorry, I meant that we can just have tea here." I don't want this moment to end, forgive me for being selfish. "Won't Khadijah and Sam start talking again?" Tyler asks, a question in his gaze. There was a time I would have cared, but not anymore. "Who cares?" I reply. "Who are you and what have you done with Kaylani Abimbola?" Tyler asks with a shake of his head.
I grin and call room service to bring up our tea (why do we have room service?!?!? it's a house!), but inside, I'm reeling. I should not have ktssed him. I shouldn't have. I really, truly messed up. They say Allah forgives all of your sins when you go for hajj, except for major ones. Was this a major sin? How am I supposed to know? I take a deep breath and try to center myself, like Hafsa taught me. "It's alright," I tell myself. "It will all be fine." Chapter 3: Tyler What. The. Heck. Just. Happened. There is no way Kaylani ktssed me earlier. There is no way she could have planned this. Did she really just make a spontaneous decision? What the heck? I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, still puzzling over the events leading up to this moment. How my dad got a job working for the Overthrow in Sanction 1 when I was 15, how we moved to Sanction 6, how I was forced to work in a prison in Sanction 5 when I was 17, how I met Kaylani while she was visiting her dad in said prison, how we fell for each other, time and time again, and a couple hours ago, when we *finally* ktssed. I spring up, realizing something. Through all these moments, that there must have been some sort of divine factor involved, because there are too many coincidences. Like, is it a coincidence that I was working at the one prison Kaylani's dad was sentenced to? Or that we met on my first day of work? Or that we defeated the governor's army with nothing but teamwork and good planning? This belief in a higher power fills my heart, my soul, my very being, and suddenly everything Kaylani has been teaching me makes sense. Well except for, you know, actual Arabic. I cup my hands together the way Kaylani showed me and try to think of something to say. "Hey, um, Allah," I start, "I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for us so far. The last couple weeks have been, um, amazing, to say the least. Thank you for helping us defeat the governor, thank you for, um, giving us this opportunity to make this country a better place, and thank you for bringing Kaylani into my life. I don't really know whether I fully believe in you yet or not but I think so." I'm about to say "Ameen" and wrap things up when another thing pops into my brain. "Even though my belief is still shaky, can you please make things easier for Kaylani? She's going through a lot right now, and she needs all the help she can get. Ameen." I put my hands back down at my sides and lie back down. Hope flutters in my chest, along with something new, a belief in something higher than all of us. Chapter 4: Kaylani I know something big happened when Tyler knocks on the adjoining door between our rooms. I unlock the door and see him grinning, with an especially terrible case of bedhead. I walk back to my bed and sit down, Tyler following suit. We just sit there for a few moments, and then I ask, "Are you gonna tell me what happened or are you gonna sit there and smile until your face falls off?" He laughs, and I get concerned. "Are you okay?" I ask. "That wasn't even funny." He shakes his head, still grinning. "Seriously, though. What is going on?" Finally, Tyler speaks. "I think I get what you've been trying to teach me." My heart skips a beat. "What do you mean?" I ask breathlessly. "I was lying on my bed, thinking about the last couple weeks, and how it seemed like there was always some divine force watching over us-" "Do you mean you believe in Allah now?!?!" I interrupt. "Oh, sorry," I say "Please continue." "It's okay," he replies. "But yeah, what you said. I think I believe in Allah now. I even made du'a last night like you taught me to!" I almost squeal in glee. Finally, after all of my efforts over the past couple weeks, he finally believes in Allah! That's pretty much almost all the way to being a Muslim. Then, he can go say the shahadah in front of some witnesses and he can propose and we can get married..."Woah, there, brain," I tell myself. "Slow down!" I stop thinking so far ahead and realize he's staring at me. Tyler. Not my first crush, but the one that feels like it could actually last. Without much else to say, I wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and plants a ktss on my temple. Finally. Chapter 5: Tyler When Kaylani hugs me, I see a single tear stream down her face. Not out of sadness or anger, but from joy. From relief. For the first time in a long time, I think both of us are relieved, even if its just for a little bit. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Hours seem to fly by, but it's only a few minutes. Kaylani pulls away and says, "Well, I'd better go get ready for work. Lots of stuff to oversee, another council meeting at noon, the usual." "Yeah," I reply. "I should go." I walk back over to the adjoining door. "Bye, Tyler," Kaylani calls from her bed, blowing me a ktss. "Bye, sunshine," I reply, feeling lighter than I ever have.
