sonia I made you entertainment for when you wake up and I’m (probably) asleep.. if you find it anyway honestly shelly you might find this cool too so you can read ok yeah it’s story stuff okay so January 9th my bestie asked me to write yuri for her okay?? I was sick at the time and just like laying in one spot being sad and devouring cough drops like life itself so I thought “ok” anyway I was up at 2/3 AM (like I am now- I’m up often enough at 2 AM that my friends call me out for it sob) and we were chatting back and forth a little before I started writing and my entire train of thought was “help how do I make this” I cranked out a page and a half in an hour ok when I say the sleep deprived brain works I mean it works. It was my first time writing a mental spiral too so proud of myself that was opening scene.. there was another half page or smth after that to lead on.. this og draft wasn’t as heavy in Merodi’s mind in the beginning or for a lot of it at all actually okay ~3 pages in we got our first Reyi perspective and I had. Chills writing her!! I was wrapped up in a blanket (I’m always cold </3 I wear hoodies I’m 80 degree Fahrenheit weather, too) sitting there staring at my phone wondering what was okay that my bestie would endure reading I did pretty good imo so let me try and summarize what it’s like in her head -“If she keeps asking for help, and I’m helping as she requests, it’s not my fault if she’s upset afterwards” (the way she helps doesn’t matter; the fact she did in “her own way” to quote is what matters) -“I don’t want her to leave me, I want her company” (they both worked a lot in their free time, separately, and Merodi would prefer to be alone when she had the chance to be around Reyi- who reasonably did not like that -“I want her to listen to me instead of me just listening to her” (Merodi would pick and choose more in this draft, at least she would for a little) huh flashbacks were pretty cool then too but these new ones with Ayui are better because they weren’t written half for shock value because I was stoopid back in January- that’s roughly what I remember, ok.. I can talk about this more offsite but basically she got fed up with Merodi at one point and her head was one of the best I wrote imo, when I was writing her I believed entirely (help my stomach is twisting irl trying to explain it) in what she believed and I wanted for her and it was. Concerning since she wasn’t exactly the most morally good character in fact I’d say she’s the color of ashes which would be really funny if you had context whoopsies If you’ve read offsite I want you to think about Fijua. She questions morality and ahem does what she does on her own terms, right? But you understand that she doesn’t believe in right and wrong(or at least that people fit neatly into those categories)- Reyi does, she believes what she is doing/did was justified, and twisted simple concepts and mistakes into permissions in her mind.. for example: door is unlocked = oh, then she wants me to come in and chat with her she’s not telling me to go away when I open the door = then yes she wants me to come comfort her she isnt taking action first = she wants my advice and my direction except afterwards if Merodi tells her to leave or “I need a moment” her mind would turn to “well, I’m here now, and I have decided you need me, so I am staying” coughs there’s more I’m sure I’m just tired and it’s three thirty am and I need to sleep.. ren, Shelly, poke me offsite on info dump and I’ll drop old dusty writing there later if you’re interested <3
