Update + "How to Say Goodbye" Vent

Instructions

Hey, y'all. Just thought I'd pop in and give a lil update after my wonderful vacation! (just click space/arrow keys/tap to look through the pics!) Also, I've been needing to vent just a little, so if any of you care, here's a breakdown of some issues I've been dealing with, and I've actually titled this vent as "How to Say Goodbye." First and foremost, I am struggling with whether or not to remain friends with my childhood best friends. It's a very difficult situation to be in, and it's also a very difficult decision to make when stepping away from people or in the extreme, cutting people off, Here's the story: My best friends are (or were) four sisters: Larry, Joe, Curly, and Mike (yes, these are fake and fun. Lol.) The names are in age order, and Joe is my age. Now, they've always invited me to their birthday parties (but usually only Joe and Curly have those. Mike is shy, and Larry I guess doesn't care?) At all of these, I'm always pushed to the side, and they hang out with their cousins and other friends from their homeschool co-op that I used to be a part of and left due to not being friends with anyone there. Yes, this ignoring always bothered me, but when we hung out one on four, I always had fun. So, I didn't think anything of it. Until this past prom. Joe invited me as her plus one, and I was really excited as this was my first prom. I got an awesome dress, my hair was done, and I felt like I was looking my best (pic is somewhere among my vacay pics lol.) Now, their three friends Mary, Martha, and Lily (made up names again) were there. I don't like Mary, Martha and I used to talk in middle school, but now she ignores me, and Lily I had never met. Lily was extremely nice and kinda included me when no one else did. The entire night, I was on the outside, kinda ignored and pushed to the side. Also, whenever the group moved around, I was like a lost puppy just trailing behind. So yeah, I was mad. Afterwards, I was so done and didn't want to see them anymore. However, Joe has been reaching out a lot, and we did hang out before I left for vacation, so I think I'm still going to hang with her. She's trying, but the others aren't as much. I've always told myself that Larry doesn't because she's busy (which she is), but that was an excuse for me to feel better. If she really cared and wanted to, she would. Simple as that. Curly never texts me much, and I actually can't text Mike at the moment. So, with Curly's birthday party coming up, I've decided not to go. I'm going to try with Joe, but I'm done with others. Feel free to express your thoughts on all this. Now, second of all, I'm sure most of you know about my crvsh on this guy who plays piano with me (not really though.) Through this, I've tried not to become obsessed or blind or anything, and I decided to just pray about it and ask God if I really should pursue him or not. Well, I got my answer the next day in an unexpected way. His sister and I played a duet and trio together last recital. (It went fantastic!) We had lesson the day after I prayed about this, and I asked her if she was going to the same prom I was. (yes, the same prom as above.) I thought that if she was going, her brother would go, too, and maybe we'd talk or dance or whatever. (yeah, I am delusional.) Her answer was "No," and I was so convicted and just KNEW that this was God saying no. In the moment, I acted fine like nothing was going on internally, and I tried to let go of him. Get around to the prom (which was like four days later lol), and I was still hoping that maybe he was going and just not her. Especially with being so alone, I desperately wished that maybe I was wrong. I wasn't. He didn't come. I also knew that this God because in the following two weeks, I never saw him as he was out of town the first and then our trio partner took his slot. Also, at the recital, he never talked to me. So, yeah, it's been hard letting go, and of course, I still think about him, but I know it's for the best if God wanted me to back off. So, current status: Friendless (maybe) and Crvshless. Woo. Anyway, yeah, that's my sob story. Bye!