Previous Part: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1334981077/ [CONTENT WARNINGS: This SRP features a variety of topics, such as depictions of depression, grief, mentions of child loss, injury and death/near death experience.] ... …It was dark. So, so very dark. Dark. Cold. Nothing. All around Wildfirelament, when chirp opened their eye, there was nothing. “..Hello..?” Wildfirelament called out, the sound of her voice echoing into the distant emptiness. …Was this.. It..? “Is anyone there..?” Was she..? “Water-Lilyredemption..? Sunsetcourage..?” Was this all that awaited them..? “Fireflydawn..?” Maybe a part of talon.. Had been truly hoping that chirp had been wrong… “..Epi..?” …Had she truly no place in Starclan after all..? Wildfirelament felt something slip down the side of their face, a tear that the deputy- were they deputy anymore-? Didn’t know that she had shed until it had already fallen, hitting the floor of black below with a ripple of its inky surface. …This was it. This was death. Wildfirelament would never again see the faces of their kin and clan. Her legs shook. Wildfirelament would never again see their mate again. Before they gave out and they crumpled to the inky floor. Wildfirelament would never be able to say the things chirp still needed to say. The sides of their flank hitched with a shuttering breath. Wildfirelament would never do the things they still had left to do. A ragged sob broke through, more tears falling and rippling the surface of the void below her. Wildfirelament would never achieve the things they still wanted to achieve. The darkness rose slowly like an ichor, consuming their paws, till they could only see chirpself as nothing more than a blank outline. Wildfirelament would never watch their kits become warriors. It continued to rise. Continued to swallow. Wildfirelament would never see them again. The fowl curled tighter in on themself as they sobbed, the last of the color leaving their fiery feathers and brown fur, leaving them as just a white outline, a hollow shell of the cat that once lived, floating in the endless nothing. Wildfirelament never even got to say goodbye. “I-I’m sorry..” Wildfirelament whispered, though her voice escaped them as though it was blown away by a nonexistent breeze. And yet still, they apologized. “I’m sorry.. I’m sorry…” Wildfirelament had tried. She had tried so, so very hard. Tried so hard to be a better cat. To change, to be the best version of themself that talon could be… Chirp had tried to make amends for their past. The ways they hurt the cats they loved. Talon had tried to earn the respect and honor of the clan who had taken them in from the barrens, given her a home.. They had tried. They had tried, and tried and tried.. Tried for her clan, for their kin, for the cats talon cared about. Tried for the Starclan they felt so unworthy of. And yet… All of it. Every triumph, every failure, every lesson learned and repeated… What had it done in the end..? It had led them here. And now.. Wildfirelament was alone. Wlam curled their wings around chirpself, the tears drying from the raptor’s eye and the sobs fading from their throat, and there in the dark nothing the hybrid remained, wrapping their wings around talonself in a defensive cocoon of despair and hopelessness. This was it. This was the end. Maybe after all this time, she was no different now then chirp was as Fire-Lilylament. Maybe she still was Fire-Lily. Because if even becoming Wildfire had meant chirp would have ended up here all the same.. ..Then it had all been for nothing. Wildfire- no. Fire-Lilylament gave another shuttering breath, opening their eye to gaze down at the white outline that was their paw and form. Like she was the concept of a cat now. The drawings that Flily once scribbled on birch bark pieces in the nursery, and show Snowwrath and her brothers with pride. “..I-I’m so sorry..” Fire-Lilylament murmured once more. Maybe in hope that someone, anyone, would come and save her from the dark. …But nobody came. “..I’m so sorry..” … …Something bright. Fire-Lilylament wasn’t sure how long she had been in the dark. Maybe seconds, maybe days. Time didn’t feel real. Maybe here, wherever ‘here’ was, it wasn’t. But regardless of however long it had been, the raptor floating there in the nothing, there was a spark of something. Something glimmering dimly in the distance of the void, enough to draw Flily’s head out of their wings. …What was it..? Fire-Lily hesitated for a moment. Before they slowly ambled closer. Hesitant, reluctant. …It was a flower. (Cont)
(Cont) It was a water lily. Beside it, laid a daffodil, a baby’s breath, and a lily of the valley. The outline figure of them, anyways. Similar to her own non-corporal form, but shimmering with an odd fire-colored glow, like a lone spark in the dark. Fire-Lilylament hesitated, her paw half extended towards the flowers, before they touched it. It was warm, a stark contrast to just how cold Flily was. Talon didn’t realize how cold they were here. But the warmth flooded them, soft and soothing. Water-Lilyredemption’s face came to the forefront of their memories to stand before them, as if called out from the parts of her forlorn. The good, the bad, all of it. …And Fire-Lilylament remembered: It was them. The one who spurred talon to change, and despite it all, believed they could. The flowers faded, and Fire-Lilylament looked down to their own form, noticing how ever-so faintly a hint of color had returned. Transparent and hardly visible, but there. Another spark of light in the distance. And Fire-Lily moved towards it, this time with a fraction less hesitance. It was another flower. ..It was a bluebonnet. Another beat of pause, before Fire-lilylament touched the flower, and once again, another burst of warmth. Unyielding, it filled and coursed through the fowl’s form till Flily could hardly stand to remember what cold felt like. Sunsetcourage was there, smiling at them, holding out her wings towards chirp. …And Fire-Lilylament remembered. It was her. The one who, when Fire-Lily herself didn’t want it, never gave up on her. Never believed Flily deserved anything less than pure, unconditional love. The flower faded. Then another spark in the distance. Flily moved towards it, hesitation gone, until she saw what the next one was. Yew berries. The hesitance was back. Was this where their punishment now lied? But as Fire-Lily touched it, another burst of warmth. Not an intense searing heat, but the soothing feeling of kindling embers. Flintforge was there, and he was never angry at her. …And Fire-Lilylament remembered. It was him. The brother who never thought of what occurred that day to be anything more than an honest mistake. Who told her the truth talon for moons refused to listen to: She had punished chirpself enough. The berries faded. Flily looked to themself again, markings and colors returning, though chirp’s feathers were the brighter fiery hues of their youth. Another spark. Fire-Lily dashed over to it. A hawk talon. With a touch, it wasn’t warmth that came over chirp, but another wave of cold. Cold like the Arctic winds. Snowcelestine was there, staring at chirp. Flily stared back. Into those eyes that once haunted them, to the scars on her face that Flily once thought to so closely resemble talon’s own.. And found that the icecat was so much less terrifying than Flily remembered. How the scars on the icecat hybrid’s face.. Looked nothing like her own. And the warmth chirp had felt from the other sparks before helped to chase away the cold, and Snow’s vestige faded, along with it the hawk talon. Another spark. A milkweed flower. Fire-Lilylament touched it, and the warmth that followed came from their own heart. The images of chirp’s own children came before them. Children who would *never* know her as talon once knew chirpself. Children who would know their damather as the brave and loyal Falconclan deputy, and that would be her legacy. Another spark. A feather. Flily touched it, and felt a blazing heat course through her, looking down as their feathers began to darken as though being burned, the brighter and more vibrant plumes giving way to the darker white-speckled ones talon was now more familiar with. Like a phoenix being rebirthed, like a wildfire clearing the land so that new life could be fostered. Another spark. Flily ran to it. ..It was a fire lily. And once again, Fire-Lilylament hesitated. Paw half extended to touch the flower.. Before chirp let it fall away. “…That’s not me anymore.” Fire-Lily- no. Wildfirelament, spoke aloud. Yes. That was right. Wildfirelament. Chirp was Fire-Lily no longer. Talon was Wildfirelament. Deputy of Falconclan, a cat who had earned her title through hard work, dedication and devotion to their clan. Who served Falconclan, and followed the warrior code till their very end. “…I keep learning these same lessons. Over and over again.” Wildfirelament said, unsure of if she was speaking to herself or to the nothing around them. “I keep saying I’ve forgiven myself.. And then, still find parts of me that haven’t…” Wlam looked down to their paw, now full, although their outline remained a stark white. “..I want to believe it now.” The deputy said, looking back to the flower with a determined look in their eyes. “I do believe. With every part of me…” … Next Part: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1334982617/
