First ||| https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1331674161/ Prev ||| https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1332920574/ Next ||| https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1335580758/ Jessi wishes they could feel sick again. But they couldn’t. But it was a normal conversation, at least. Much unlike what they expected people to have in relative isolation to the rest of the world, a choice to stay. “I just think it’s stupid.” Jessi said, referring to the people who run against the rights of LGBTQ+ citizens. “I don’t think you should be concerned about the politics of America.” “But it’s questioning the morality of those who view themselves as better than these specks of dust that came from the same star. If someone believes they are a bigger share of the star, let them believe, but when they belittle other stars, that’s when it becomes an issue.” Orchid stated, The sun was finally rising at the ripe of 7:21 AM, and the morning light shone through the curtains. Penn’s headwings flapped in agreement, he didn’t say much. Hell, it seemed like he never did at this point. Jessi slowly started to see that younger version of him they saw in that dream. They saw the chocolate eyes brighten with quiet enthusiasm as he shared his two cents, the words went in one ear and out the other. “Penn.” Jessi called, watching as the birdlike man tilted his head toward them. “What happened to you?” “What?” Penn whispered; his hands went to his lap. His smile tensed a little bit. It was like he struggled to grasp the concept of a mental decline. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Orchid gently gripped Penn’s hand. Jessi’s eyes narrowed slightly. They bit her tongue. “You weren’t who you said you were when I jumped.” Jessi said it simply, each consonant was frozen solid into ice. “Jessi, you mustn’t mumble. Do you know that people cannot understand you? I struggle with English comprehension, love.” Was that another one of his lies? Jessi thought about that for a moment until they remembered the distinct accent. Okay, maybe he was saying the truth there. “But you were better. You lied to me.” Jessi couldn’t help but glare at the cup of tea they were offered. It was now much hotter than they remembered. “In my dream—" “Ah, it was a dream. Don’t they often dream of things when it’s their first day?” Orchid nudged Penn gently, who responded with a quiet chuckle. “Rakhil claimed she saw a butterfly man, we have yet to prove of his existence. The dreamers are always convinced it was true.” Penn nodded. It was weird, they were oddly calm about this. “Explain this dream, possibly?” “Right.” Jessi cleared their throat. “It was a second interview, A woman named Min-Ji was copying your behaviors. You popped in, but it was like a little you, you were maybe in your late teens, early twenties. You were very excited, flapping a bunch, and then called the woman Hocus—” “Ah, I see, this dream isn’t very real, Jessica.” Penn took Jessi’s hands, eyebrows knitted together in worry for Jessi’s sanity. “I wasn’t like this in my twenties. It was my early forties that got me.” Orchid sighed quietly, placing a hand on Jessi’s shoulder. The two looked like a duo of concerned parents, both were fond, neither were hurt, but both looked at Jessi in a way they couldn’t put their finger on. Maybe it was a good thing. “Ah, your sanity’s important, Jessica.” “Indeed.” Penn agreed, always seeming to agree with the woman he was with. “Without it, you could croak.” “Quite literally. To our own hand is to our own mind, mostly. Panic can bring upon the death of ourselves, along with any other severe negative emotion.” Orchid cleared her throat, hand shaking a bit as she said that last bit. “You can tell if someone’s about to leave. It hurts. Which is why none of us, ever, should hold those thoughts.”
“Right.” Penn mindlessly agreed again. He took a moment before adding his two cents. “Talk to someone. It can be me; I don’t mind who you talk to, however. I prefer if that burden is off your shoulders.” Even if it is at my own expense. He didn’t say that last part, but Jessi tasted it in the air along with the same vanilla scent that remained in the household. “Yeah. I’ll be sure to talk to you.” Jessi lied. Their grip tightened on Penn’s hands, which resulted in the ideal result: him recoiling. Orchid’s ears perked up a bit, her nose scrunched. “I’ll be back later. I need to check up on Cupid.” The two watched as she left, and Penn stood up and followed. That was if Jessi didn’t grip his wrist. “I don’t know your little game, but I don’t play games.” Jessi felt him clench his fist, he didn’t look back. “There’s no game I am playing, Jessica. There is only a woman who has yet to trust me.” “And there is a man who’s insufferable and won’t let me find out what cards he has in his sleeve.” Jessi couldn’t help but be cold. It was like there was something in their system that yelled ‘stay this way’ even when they didn’t want to. “Penn, I know there’s something to you that I can’t quite place, but just know that if I had to stab anyone, it would be you right now.” “That’s not a very nice thing to say to the man that nursed you back to health, is it?” Penn tried pulling away again, but Jessi simply couldn’t let this go apparently. “But it is something I would say to a man who keeps lying to me! Were you really like you say you were, or do you just put up a different mask for everyone that comes along here? Sweet hearted gentleman for Orchid, witty standup for Angler, quiet pushover for Cupid and kind colleague for Rakhil?” They knew the stuff they were spewing was pure emotional bull. They couldn’t help but consider everything now, how many masks can one man wear before he wears out? How many times can he lie? “What mask do you put up for me?” “You’re good at reading people.” Penn admitted, not like he wanted to. His body was tensed, and his gaze didn’t stray from the hallway. “It’s called showing compassion. Nothing you would know about. Sometimes you need to rewrite yourself a little to make others feel better.” “That’s not how life works anymore, Penn Johnson.” Jessi looked at the back of his head, the feathers poking out from his collar, headwings drooped. “You can try to reinnovate yourself for everything and everyone, but you know deep down that you only reinnovate yourself because you can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror unless you’re bleeding.” Penn paused. He didn’t look back, didn’t cry, didn’t even react. He just stood there, blankly staring at the now empty hallway, as Orchid decided maybe Cupid was more interesting than Penn and Jessi. Maybe she just wanted to be nice. But the hallway was empty, no one would believe Jessi if they said what happened. “And if you don’t believe me?! You don’t believe your true feelings. You’re too far gone.” Jessi swallowed the growing lump in their throat. Tears threatened to spill if they didn’t get their act together and fast. “I think maybe it’s best that you’re better off gone if you can’t understand that.” “Okay.” Okay...? OKAY?! That’s all he has to say!? OKAY!? Jessi wanted to punch him, or worse. No way. OKAY!? THAT WAS IT?! Jessi collected themself, or at least tried to, tears started forming. “SO GO ON! DO IT!” He didn’t say anything else. Just pried himself from Jessi’s grip and went into his room. The door shut quietly behind him. Oh no. “WAIT! I—” Jessi heard commotion from Angler’s room, with the fish-like man stumbling out with laughter. “Jessi! Hey! Do you wanna maybe go for some breakfast?” He asked, smiling brightly. They had breakfast with him, or at least he ate while they kept company. He tried to make small talk, but Jessi only gave one-word answers. Jessi realized that they committed the worst sin.
