on april, almost 3 months ago, I nearly died. I know this is super risky posting to scratch, and im not posting here much anymore, but I genuinely have nowhere else I feel like I can post this, well, when I did post about this to other places people just didn’t care at all and it made me feel like garbage. there was an incident, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but years of build up led to it, months of people not caring, all the effort I put in for other people amounting to nothing over and over again, leading up to it I drew a ton of gore art of Banana, my persona. the drawing on the thumbnail was made a few hours before I nearly died, I put in a few of the other drawings I did, but I had to black out most of them I’ve now been isolated for months, the extent of my social interaction has been when my friends wanted to call and play a game and I only have 2 friends for that now, one of them I don’t really trust anymore considering they basically said to my face that they didn’t care about me, im genuinely so bored and lonely and I have nothing to do because they’re not allowing me to go back to school. nobody at school cares or notices that I’m gone, they’re leaving me in the dark and explaining none of the aftermath of what happened despite months of waiting I had the most miserable birthday of my life, every other year I would have a birthday party, I’d invite a bunch of friends and we would play tons of games together and usually it would be a sleepover.. there was none of that this year. I had no party cause nobody would have wanted to come, I stayed at home and played games by myself most of the day, my own friend couldn’t even be bothered playing a game with me on my birthday. I got to have dinner with four people and all of them were family and thats it, none of my other family members cared. and to add onto all this? almost nobody cares. I haven’t seen a single person online care at all about me nearly dying. instead, I got ridiculed. and most people in real life do not care in the slightest. I feel like this is the last place I can post that isn’t an anonymous forum, cause I know someones watching my posts on another app, someone who caused everything for no reason.
